Rap and golf: 100 degrees of separation

Friday night left me searching for answers. Not because all-night happy hour left me clueless as to what I did with my belt and debit card, but how my Detroit Pistons, the “class act” of the league, let this debacle happen in their Palace. . .and how I could somehow tie this to golf for my blog. . .

It’s funny how if you dump liquor on people in a Jay-Z video, it merely confirms everyone’s having a good time, especially for the girls who oddly enough wore a bikini to the club. But if you do it to a pro ball player, apparently he mistakes it for an invitation to “battle".

Now, I don’t mean to compare ball players with rappers. . .just Ron Artest. Who of course, is a budding rap star. And he looks the part more and more. Only problem is he confused an NBA game for the VIBE awards melee the week before. (And just now I’ve realized I’m using way too many hip-hop and “young people” references for a golf blog, one which is probably read by people mostly collecting - not paying for - social security, and have no idea the word “fat” these days has an alternate spelling – if you wish to continue, perhaps do so with the guidance of your babysitter translating for you).

Artest isn’t being an “NBA Bad Boy” right now. He’s trying to sell records. Any pop star or actor knows these days you gotta make news to sell tickets. And to boot, Artest wanted a month off. . .he’s probably about to get it.

Yes, alcohol was a factor. But Artest got Ben Wallace upset. You don’t piss off the Alpha male in his domain, especially one as coveted by a city as Wallace. What Palace fans did was a great big “We got your back, Big Ben!” and you better believe no one messes with him again in Motown. The only idiotic thing about it was all the wasted full beers. High school kids all over who’s parents were out of town for the weekend groaned, “damn, we could have used those. . .”

I understand Artest’s antics. Heck, it gave him all kinds of “street cred", but Stephen Jackson. . .you’re on your way to the principal’s office and something tells me you won’t be seeing the playground for quite some time. You have to keep your cool in a situation like that, Stephen, like a smooth four-footer on the 18th with the tournament on the line.

And that is my feeble attempt to tie in rap and golf.