Tiger Woods and other video games will soon bless gamers with advertising

My elders tell me that when cable television debuted, the reason TV suddenly wasn’t free anymore is because there weren’t advertisements on them. Today, cable TV usually has more than networks.

Tiny Jim down at the corner barbershop tells me MTV had music videos 24/7 when he was a teenager. Today, it’s all product placement and big record companies paying big bucks for some artist face time on Pimp my Ride or Laguna Beach.

In a decade, when my kid is playing his first X-Box 6000, which actually comes with a year’s supply of ritalin and potato chips, I’ll remark to him the days I could buy Tiger Woods Golf for $70 without Tiger always lining his ball up to show the Swoosh perfectly or the virtual Phil Mickelson saying “Can’t wait to grab a Big Mac” as he walks off the 18th green.

Microsoft and EA Sports have reached an agreement to begin dynamic ad placements in their popular line of sports games, including the ridiculously awesome Tiger Woods series. “Dynamic placement” basically means there will be a bunch of tiny bugs in the machine spying on your every move in an attempt to find advertising that will be most effective to get you to spend more money. It will be kind of like how when you check your Hotmail or Google Mail account and your friend is writing how drinking is ruining your life – there’s an advertisement on the sidebar for Miller Lite and trips to Vegas.

Or as my friends at the ONION say: “It was only a matter of time before playing sports video-games sucked in all the same ways as being at the event or watching it on TV.”

Advertisers are getting sneaky these days, and half the time you don’t even know you’re looking at one until you’ve blacked out momentarily and wake up to find a new Lexus in your driveway. I’m skeptical of everything and everyone and their ability to implement subliminal messages. For some reason every time I read Tim McDonald’s blogs I find myself on Amazon.com buying some liberal conspiracy theorist’s book on Donald Rumsfeld…Tim’s up to something…

Thankfully, I gave up on video games a long time ago to become an internet junkie, so I’ll fondly remember the days when you could play Super Mario Bros. and pick up a magic mushroom without a pop-up window saying “Mushrooms $1.99 special at Whole Foods this week".