The truth about Polish women -- classy, Baldwin

I’m confused.

First I get reemed by our conservative readers (calling me a Democrat was below the belt, by the way. Anyone who reads me regularly knows I’m Socialist) for trying to spice up the mundane Tiger Woods conversation by questioning the legitimacy of his Sunday dominance, suggesting maybe he’s “distracting” his opponents the night before like another Hall of Fame athlete did in the 80s.

(Is that more sensitive everyone? Hate to ruin any 9-year old’s future with a golf column…)

Then, in an attempt to write credible journalism about a recent trip to Poland, someone in my own camp says I’m not telling the whole story because I’m not posting all the women I met’s pictures and scoring them 1-10, like I’m Turtle on HBO’s Entourage.

So I guess it’s a fault of my travel writing not to include the “scenery” in Poland. You got me, Baldwin, looks like I’m still a long way away from chasing Charles Barkley around the west coast. You have any hat– I mean fan mail that needs sorting?

Well, Chris, women in eastern Europe are pretty awesome, if you like a good figure and friendly smile. Poland is no exception, and someone there told me a recent survey rated Americans as their favorite foreigners.

Bing!

Some are blonde, some are not, but all the ones I met in my demographic were super friendly. Another few days there…I may have settled for good.

Now the older ones…whether it’s their communist upbringing or inability to understand a word of a scurried “How the F*** do I use these pay phones!?!?", they weren’t so sweet with me. But I’m sure if I met any of their daughters they would cook me a fine goulash. But resident senior Tim probably made the right decision settling in the swamp.

Now everyone is screaming, “Show, don’t tell!” so I do have a few pics, but those are personal and I don’t feel like turning my blog into a Facebook or Myspace.com page. But I did take a picture of a TV with some cute Polish girls while I was there.

(What?? Like there’s anything weird about that???).

For audio proof I talked to some Polish women, check out my Sweet Spots with a special guest.

Not entirely sure what they’re selling, but I’d buy it…

(Okay Chris, was this your warm-up article before you decide to rile up the Wie Warriors before her big week?)