Golf blogger reveals truth about age and much, much more

We live in a superficial world full of fashion statements and preconceptions based on looks. This is especially true in the world of golf blogging. So when TravelGolf.com asked me to submit a bio pic for my blog, I was unsettled.

As a result of my mug shot - the only glimpse one can get into the person behind the internet’s shield - many readers out there have made their own conclusions about my age and how it affects my views on golf and the world at large.

“Brandon, I can’t believe you actually “get it” about Michelle Wie. That’s just so rare for a guy. Almost seems subversive. Being really young probably helps. At least you look really young in that little picture. Anyway I hope you don’t lose your wisdom and objectivity by association with too many golf curmudgeons.” - Said the Golf Girl last week.

“Everyone shouldn’t be so hard on the kid. Look at his picture. He looks like a 16 year old going through puberty…I think he’s just mad in general for being a puny little punk who could never make it in football and had to pick up a sissy sport instead.” - Said some tool.

I was even called out by TG’s Chris Baldwin for not hitting on Polish girls enough while working in Poland like the hornball fratboy I am perceived to be:

“Tucker is actually the young, happening, rollicking kid of the writing stable. Hence, his BTuck tag. He fancies himself as the P. Diddy of this blog board with his high-tech broadcasts done to booming beats (when he’s inspired) and his arcane references that no one under 10 gets.”

I must admit my picture has misled many of you. As a golf blogger internationally read I should clear the air before these assumptions spiral out of control.

I am 68. It is a fake picture I got royalty-free from BigStockPhoto.com and “Brandon Tucker” is a pseudonym. I get my “street cred” and “youthful” voice by selling hot dogs to drunk college kids on campus late Saturday nights. I never golf but was Tennessee’s four-time Girls Table Tennis State Champ.

I got into travel golf writing because it seems like all you have to do in order to be make it in the business is kiss a lot of butt and TravelGolf.com doesn’t perform random drug tests on its editorial staff.

While I’m letting it all out, I never really even went to Scotland, Poland, Portugal, anywhere. Thanks to the internet, you don’t need to go places to write about them anymore (read any guidebook of a city you live in for proof). I seldom leave my basement and when I’m not on my comp, am generally playing Trivial Pursuit against myself. All those fabulous photo galleries “I” have posted were actually made by downloading other golf pics and modifying them in Photoshop.

All of you who comment with an alias like “Ghet Rheel", “Judge Smails", “Lester Hinson” and “Tucker Sucks” think you are the only one who can leave libelous comments free of consequence and then expect your internet journalists to be ethical. How hypocritical.

The scariest part? I actually think Michelle Wie is doing what’s best for her and the game of golf.

Would my “real” pic have caused me to gain or lose credibility? It isn’t a chance I was willing to take.