The Cheap Bastard is now in Atlanta and was angrily rebuffed by CNN’s Paula Zahn. Someday she’ll come crawling back to me.

Following the trail of Tim McDonald makes a guy hungry, however. I know he’s somewhere in the South, so my plan of action now is to start staking out the only place I’m sure he’ll end up. The Waffle House.

OK, there are 1,500,000 of these places in 25 states across the U.S., but I’m feeling lucky. The Waffle House, much like the Cheap Bastard, is not much to look at but is loaded with delicious food. Waffles, grits and hash browns “smothered and covered” in cheese and onions.

The best part? You can order almost anything they have and it will run you less than $5. At the very least, I’ll have the fuel I so desperately need to play River Run Golf Course in Montgomery, Ala. tomorrow. It’s just $16 for all the golf you want after 4 p.m., with a cart. I have a hunch I’ll find McDonald there, scotch in one hand, a rack of ribs in the other.

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