The Cheap Bastard cannot be contained by size-38 jeans, nor by the constraints of a blog.

Yes, after years of begging, pleading, shoe shining, placing bets on horses (ok, I did that on my own), your royal Cheapness here has graduated to the big-time and have a whole article of my very own.

It’s called Door-to-door with Cheap Bastard and it chronicles the tale of how I got my twin brothers Lucky and Smelly from Akron, Ohio to Phoenix, Ariz. for a winter golf trip – and how I did it for less than $1,000 a brother, door-to-door.

Let me give you a sample from the article:

“Finally, they’ll need a rental car once they get to Phoenix, because I sure ain’t letting Smelly in my classic Vega. So, for this I’ll send the boys over to Budget Rent a Car, where they can get a neat economy car like a Chevy Shoe or a Ford Breadbasket for just $30 a day. Put $30 in the gas tank and they’re Bastards on wheels for about $110 a piece.”

Wow, can I write or what? And there’s plenty more there, including how the brothers can play three great courses, gorge on pizza and have a great hotel room, all for less than it would cost to bribe a government official.

Writing articles is the first step of making myself into a vast media conglomerate, with this very likely leading up to the launch of “The Cheap Bastard Channel.” And you can say you were here at the beginning.

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