The Cheap Bastard feels bad for former White House chief of staff Andrew Card. First, because El Cheapo here isn’t a pinko like a bunch of the other bloggers here, who are probably thrilled to see a Republican get axed. There are no Commie Bastards in this bloodline. Secondly, I feel bad for Card because if he lives near Seattle, he’s not going to be able to use a senior discount card. According to the Seattle Times, in Everett, there is a plan to get rid of a senior discount for golfers over the age of 55. The discount saved older ... full post »

The Cheap Bastard refuses to play golf with anything except his top-of-the-line Callafay clubs. And no, that’s not a typo. They’re exactly like real Callaways except for head, shaft, grips, box they come in, reputation and performance. They even smell kind of like an old, wet duck, but let me tell you, they’re cheap. But if you’re like the Cheaperino and would love to play with Callaways but also love to afford rent and food, here’s a place to visit. It’s called Callaway Golf Preowned and, well, the title says it all. Right now I’m looking at their Big Bertha Titanium 454 ... full post »

Many scoffed at the Cheap Bastard’s long quest to find the mysterious and lost city of Twinkie. They were right, of course, as it really was a silly idea. What’s not a silly idea is to spend some quality time in the city of Hershey. Yes, Hershey, Pennsylvania, where even the chocolate is smothered in chocolate. Now, for golfers with families, Hershey is as close as you can come to actually taking a vacation in a pie. A pie with golf courses. And the town is right there with you, with deals waiting. Hershey’s new Family Golf Package is the way ... full post »

The Cheap Bastard wishes someone told him to work out after taking huge amounts of steroids. So while El Cheapo can’t hit a baseball like Barry Bonds, he can eat an entire caribou in one sitting. Coming from the West Coast, your pal Cheap is used to needing a wallet on steroids to get into a decent amusement park. There are places like Bisneyland (name changed for legal reasons) where it costs an arm, leg and half a liver to get in. Then they pluck a few hairs out of your nose just to show they can. But on the other end ... full post »