The Cheap Bastard feels bad for former White House chief of staff Andrew Card. First, because El Cheapo here isn't a pinko like a bunch of the other bloggers here, who are probably thrilled to see a Republican get axed. There are no Commie Bastards i… more »

The Cheap Bastard refuses to play golf with anything except his top-of-the-line Callafay clubs. And no, that's not a typo. They're exactly like real Callaways except for head, shaft, grips, box they come in, reputation and performance. They even smell ki… more »

Many scoffed at the Cheap Bastard's long quest to find the mysterious and lost city of Twinkie. They were right, of course, as it really was a silly idea. What's not a silly idea is to spend some quality time in the city of Hershey. Yes, Hershey, Penn… more »

The Cheap Bastard wishes someone told him to work out after taking huge amounts of steroids. So while El Cheapo can't hit a baseball like Barry Bonds, he can eat an entire caribou in one sitting. Coming from the West Coast, your pal Cheap is used to n… more »