The Cheap Bastard despises the Da Vinci Code and all it stands for. Writing about religion? What does Dan Brown know anyway? What a maroon. What a tra-la-la-boom de aye. It’s getting to the point that I may be forced to read the book or see the movie. Then you’ll really see outrage. It’s on my to-do list.

Speaking of something that should be on your to-do list if you live in Massachusetts, now’s the time to pick up their 2006 Golf Privilege Card. You can buy one now only for $39.95 or buy three and get one free for a limited time.

Money from the card will help the American Lung Association of Massachusetts fight lung disease and advocate for cleaner air. For holders of the cards, they get reduced rates at more than 80 golf courses, driving ranges and stores.

Courses involved include: Amesbury Golf & Country Club, Ballymeade Country Club, Berlin Country Club, Southwick Country Club and Cranwell Resort, Spa, & Golf Club. And many, many more.

To order a 2006 Golf Privilege Card, call the American Lung Association of Massachusetts at 1-800-LUNG-USA ((800) 586-4872) or purchase online at www.lungma.org.

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