The Cheap Bastard just had an epiphany: If the letter "O" was for some reason constitutionally banned, the state of Ohio would just be known as "Hi." And that's kind of nice. Something else nice about Ohio was brought to us by reader Chris, who told u… more »

If there's one thing the Cheap Bastard can appreciate, it's good business sense. Like whoever started Krispy Kremes. Making great donuts. Now there's a great idea. Another great business idea is to give free donuts to people who praise your donuts. But y… more »

The Cheap Bastard feels anger when he sees so many people act so harshly about the insanely talented and attractive Michelle Wie. Some day (almost 500 days from now), when the amazing Ms. Wie makes me the luckiest Bastard in the world and takes my hand i… more »