Now that the Golfer Supremacy Rankings have outted me for sending “naughty” instant messages, and Mark Foley won’t return my phone calls (C’mon Mark, I measured it and everything), the Cheap Bastard has decided it’s time to get the heck out of town for a while.

Yes, it’s time to put the “Go” in this Gringo, as the Bastard is hightailing it to Mexico, to enjoy some golf and put his troubles behind him. I just found a fare sale with American Airlines that will take my freckled behind to Cancun for around $300 or less, round trip from just about anywhere in this great nation of ours.

Once I’m there, I’ll hit up some of my favorite Cancun courseslike the Moon Palace Golf Club, Cozumel Country Club and other great golf options.

You only have until Wednesday, Oct. 11 to take advantage of this deal, that includes tons of other styling destinations in Mexico and the Caribbean, as well. So, if you’re like me, it’s time to turn the page and enjoy some friendlier locales.

Give American Airlines a call at (800) 433-7300 if you have any more questions.