The Cheap Bastard's got balls. Nasty, dirty, dirty balls. They're out in the trunk of my Vega. I keep them there so they won't infect anyone else's. Yes, your pal Cheap just can't pass up picking up a golf ball and sticking it in his bag no matter ho… more »

The Cheap Bastard has been depressed lately, ever since getting turned down for the leading role in the film version of "The Rawhide Kid." I figured with my red hair, ability to handle a gun, and slightly effeminate walk, I'd be a shoe in. I was born for… more »

Golf, like many of the Cheap Bastard's favorite solo activities, requires a good grip. Let's talk about one of your buddy Cheap's other favorite solo activities for a while ... (Editors Note: Deleted. Sorry, Percy, even we have limits). ... after… more »

The Cheap Bastard has prayed more than once at the alter of the porcelain god. That's because your pal El Cheapo can party with the best of them. Of course, there are some that can party hardier than even yours truly. Take golfer Andrew Pointon, who c… more »