Like most stout redheads, the Cheap Bastard is prone to fits of drunken rage. Like now.

You see, the Cheap Bastard decided to do a Google search for “Cheap Bastard” and the results were humiliating at best.

I mean, don’t you people understand? I have nine years of higher education under my belt. And with just 11 more credits, I’ll proudly own that Bachelor’s degree in physical education from the University of Phoenix. I am somebody.

You see, much like this blog, I’ve worked long and not-so hard on becoming a success. Your Royal Cheapness has ambition, but he’s not about to get all worked up about it.

So really I’m left with only one person to blame for my lack of blogging fame - You. You readers just aren’t doing your job in making me hugely popular. I mean, I already got the huge part down, so all you slackers need to do is half the original assignment. What’s wrong with you people?

So who’s No. 1 on the Google search for “Cheap Bastard” you ask? An article titled “Hey, Cheap Bastard” from Intakeweekly.com, the “Indianapolis Nightlife and Lifestyle Guide". Yours truly comes in at No. 38. It’s a straight up crime against humanity, I tell you.

I mean, is the “Indianapolis Nightlife and Lifestyle Guide” offering you a deals like a Nike Sasquatch Driver SQ 460cc for $189.99?

Cheapness found this Sasquatch at PriceGrabber.com, where they gather all the lowest prices from throughout the land, and give consumers an opportunity to find the best price and/or the best seller. Take a look at all their golf items by clicking here.

You see? Look, right there, El Cheapo comes through yet again. That’s because the Cheap Bastard kicks ass, people. You better recognize.

It’s time for the Cheap Bastard to reach the very top of the, well, the other Cheap Bastards. I can’t and don’t really feel like doing it myself, however. So it’s time You, my dear readers, start doing everything in your power to make the Bastarded One the biggest, cheapest bastard on the Internet today.

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