A golf home on Royal Troon or piece of Masters history could be mine if you'd stop being so cheap

The Cheap Bastard has a hectic, stressful life and you know that’s true because the Cheap Bastard says so.

So how about everyone pitch in right about now and by El Cheapo the summer house of his dreams. Because right now, for less than £1 million or (US) $176 billion (Ish. Not much into math), we can buy a “stunning Blackrock House that sits between the second and 16th greens” of Royal Troon.

And while ownership doesn’t come with a membership, yours truly would gladly sneak on and play a few holes here and there. So pony up, kids.

Of course, if you don’t want to buy me a house, keep in mind that the Cheap Bastard collects golf memorabilia much like he collects STDs. So you can pitch in $60,000 and pick me up the trophy for low amateur at the Masters.

It seems E. Harvie Ward Jr. won the Silver Cup 50 years ago and now it can be purchased. The cup is believed to be the only Masters trophy on the open market.

Do these count as “Budget Golf” tips? No. Of course not. But really, do you guys want to skimp when it comes to treating your favorite Red-Headed Stepchild a home or a piece of golf history?

I didn’t think so.