In 2004, Congress passed legislation demanding that yours truly, Cheap Bastard, never have children. Tacked on to that, of course, was a $42 billion grant to help displaced donut makers.

Nonetheless, I can’t have children, because it’d be a federal crime. And this Bastard ain’t doing no federal time.

It’s a shame, though, because now I can’t take advantage of KidsPlayGolfForFree.com. RJ wrote me and gave me the scoop:

“Did you know that there is a website that is a directory of golf courses that let kids play free with an adult who pays a green fee? That right and it is free. Free to the golfers who use the information. And Free to the golf courses who display their information on the sight. The golf courses can put their info in the site and control that info. They even get a free press release sent to newspapers and radio stations they identify,” wrote RJ.

Basically, you can head over there and find any golf course in the nation that offers free play for kids. So if you’re one of those people that the federal government allows to procreate, this is definitely a site you should check out.

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