The Cheap Bastard loves Australia. From the moment you arrive, hot, scantily clad women like Elle McPherson and Anna Rawson busy themselves giving you massages, while Russell Crowe and Paul Hogan fistfight to determine who will hand-feed you another shrimp. It’s glorious.

Ok, the Cheap Bastard has never been to Australia. But he has high hopes, and so should you. Because, right now, not only is Australia packed with sexy people, it also is looking for some golfers, because the locals aren’t keeping up with the pace of play.

It seems that local courses in and around Sydney have gone as far as to offer nine-hole round deals, so busy Australians can go about their day of looking beautiful, eating well and then going to bed with their equally beautiful spouse. There’s just no time for golf for the majority of them, I’m afraid.

“Membership numbers have been sliding for some time,” Greg Mills of the NSW Golf Association told the Brisbane Times. “You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realise that something imaginative has to be done to stop it.”

One thing that could stop the downward trend in golf is tourism, and a new “Free Skies” proposal between the U.S. and Australia is very promising and they will discuss it again in early February, with both countries believing they will profit from such a deal. Golfers will especially approve of it, as the added flights (up to 14 a day) could well help knock down the often high prices of U.S. to Australia travel.

In the mean time, check with our friends at AustraliaGolf.com or WorldGolf.com to see what kind of deals they can get you on an all-exclusive golf trip Down Under.

Because, folks, Australia is out there. Waiting with its gumdrop mountains, naked voluptuous women, either exceedingly drunk or over-ambitious men who generally ignore said naked women, and great golf. It’s a dream destination to just about all of us. This may finally be the year to book that trip.

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