Appearances aside, the Cheap Bastard is the romantic type. El Bastardo treats his woman like a queen, lavishing her with gifts, tender words, and the occasional romantic golf package for two to a Florida resort. So it really makes you wonder why Los Cheapos never actually has a girlfriend. Thus far my open invitations to Golf Girl, Golf Chick, Jennifer Mario, Michelle Wie, Heather McMichael, Sophie Sandolo, Paula Creamer and Dot Wong have all been met with utter silence at best, and rabid contempt at worst. Heck, I even sent a Valentine’s Day card to Brandon Tucker one year and still ... full post »

Back when El Cheapo here was a Teenage Bastard, he remembers the endless rumors of how you could go to government auctions and buy a Jeep for $1. It sounded fantastic, of course, but then you noticed that you never met anyone who had gotten a Jeep like that, and the landscape wasn’t littered with government-surplus Jeeps. Nowadays, your Royal Cheapness gets the same vibe from Priceline. They litter the airwaves with commercials about their amazing deals where you can travel from Pacoima to Paris for $2.50 or so. Yet I’ve never met a soul who has bragged about scoring a ... full post »