Back when El Cheapo here was a Teenage Bastard, he remembers the endless rumors of how you could go to government auctions and buy a Jeep for $1. It sounded fantastic, of course, but then you noticed that you never met anyone who had gotten a Jeep like that, and the landscape wasn’t littered with government-surplus Jeeps.

Nowadays, your Royal Cheapness gets the same vibe from Priceline. They litter the airwaves with commercials about their amazing deals where you can travel from Pacoima to Paris for $2.50 or so. Yet I’ve never met a soul who has bragged about scoring a deal from Priceline. I know plenty of folks who’ve found great deals at TravelGolf.com’s Hot Deals, but not a one from one of these huge Web sites touting fantasy prices.

Personally, I think Priceline is just a government front to give William Shatner a job where he doesn’t have to speak Esperanto. If you want the perfect golf package, TravelGolf.com has them in droves and can make one specifically for you.

But hey, maybe someone out there has gotten great deals from Priceline or a company like it where the word auction is tossed around like a carrot on a stick. If you have, let me know. And if someone who works for Priceline writes in pretending to be a satisfied customer, El Cheapo will expose your sockpuppetry to the world. But if Shatner wants to send us a comment, that’d be cool.

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