The Cheap Bastard doesn’t spend much time up north. Especially not after that seal clubbing incident. But sometimes even yours truly needs to get out of his comfort zone - and let me tell you it a true Zone of Comfort - and see what’s happening with our Canadian pals to the north.

Ok, I assume we’re pals. Your Royal Cheapness has never actually met a Canadian, and those rumors of me stalking Michael J. Fox are slanderous half-truths. But hey, it’s Canada. What’s not good about Canada except their militant, useless socialized health care? Canada really is a great part of the U.S.

So hey, if you’re looking for a thing to fling your spring, why not head up to Vancouver, B.C. The Cheap Bastard loves Vancouver, especially after finding out that the “B.C.” stands for “British Columbia” and not “Before Christ.” Because I literally assumed Vancouver was an area set in the stone age.

But it’s not, and now you can enjoy golf and frolic in Vancouver, and you can do it for less with Golf Vancouver Island’s Spring Fling.

Couples can enjoy two nights at their choice of accommodation, a round of golf with power cart and guaranteed tee time at Olympic View Golf Club as well as the on-call service of the Golf Vancouver Island staff. Rates for the trip start at $375 per person. But that’s in Canadian money. So really, for all I know, that could be like fifty bucks American. Or two euros.

“Couples will also have choice of a round of golf at Bear Mountain Resort, 60-minute Swedish massage at The Spa at Delta Victoria, romantic dinner for two at Il Terrazzo Ristorante or a 30-minute horse-drawn carriage ride through Victoria. When all is said and done, couples can relax in the comfort of their luxurious room with a complimentary bottle of local wine and Rogers’ Chocolates,” said the Cheap Bastard, admitting he totally cut-and-pasted this section.

Anywho, for more information on this and other golf in Vancouver, B.C. deals, give Golf Vancouver Island a call at (888) 465-3239. And if you’re worried it will be cold, give the Cheap Bastard a holler. I still have a few baby-seal lined fur coats available for sale.

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