My fellow blogger Matt rails against celebrity golfers by moaning about watching, “some overweight multi-quadjillionaire blade his fifth out of the sand over the green, prompting a temper tantrum.” One problem. I can’t figure out if he’s talking about Chris Berman, John Daly or Craig Stadler.

Which is the point.

Golf is the great equalizer of sports. You don’t have to be in any kind of shape whatsoever. You don’t even have to be very skilled at. You can still go out there and have fun playing with almost anyone. This is why Celebrity Golf works. Golf is the one sport that lets any slub with a decent Q-rating play with the pros. Can you imagine if Berman or the Ray Romano tried their hands at Celebrity Football? As entertaining as it would be to see them get smashed by a real athlete, particularly the unfunny comic emperor Romano, it’s just not happening. A Celebrity Baseball Pro-Am? I don’t think Chris O’Donnell is ever willingly stepping into the batter’s box against Randy Johnson.

Golf is it. The game rightfully embraces this fact. The problem isn’t celebrity golfers. What’s more entertaining than listening to Alice Cooper talk about how he used to play golf smashed? Give that to me over Phil Mickelson telling that hokey, media-friendly story about his grandfather and the flags any day.

The problem is amateur golfers who take their game too seriously on any level. There are some of those in every crowd. Samuel L. Jackson and other celebrities aren’t unique in this aspect. There are a few stone-faced grouches on every course. Long live celebrity golf.

Where else can we see Derek Jeter look clueless about what to do next except on a golf course?

Celebrity golf is a great humanizer. Besides, it actually almost enabled Matt Paulson to get through an entire blog without bowing down to Lefty. Almost. You’ve got to love Celebrity Golf.

If you don’t want to ever watch fat, rich guys swing, you’re following the wrong sport.

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