Well, it’s true as my boss Mark Nessmith points out that I haven’t actually gotten around to taking my ordered golf lesson yet, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been getting guidance the chiropractor hucksters would swoon over.

Just the other day, Randy Panton, the longtime pro at Creston Golf Club in the Kootneys region of British Columbia, gave me an impromptu middle-of-the-round sand game lesson. With one slight tweak of my pinkie position and a three degree angle adjustment of my club face, Panton revolutionized this horrific hacker’s wedge shot. Unfortunately for Panton, he didn’t get to see the fruits of his labor. In his presence, I preceded to whack away miserably four times in one single bunker. Whereas, Panton gently suggested I simply throw the ball onto the green (some teacher!)

But in rounds since this dunce pupil routine, my sand shots have been landing two, three feet from the cup. Time after time. Well, until the time I got a little overconfident and almost decapitated an unfortunate golfer in my group who dared to venture 100 feet from the green. No kidding. I sent a shot sailing out of a bunker right below the green, straight over the green and another zip code beyond, deep into bushes along a fence separating a faraway highway from the course.

I was about three feet below the hole and managed to lose a ball. On the easiest course I’ve played in British Columbia. Just try and match that!

And for that I say, “Thank you, Mr. Panton.” Without you, I don’t have my shot for the ages.

But honestly, it’s tough to fit in a full-fledged lesson when you’re taking a private jet with leather chairs into the Kootneys, staying at your own three-story lodge, enduring a Four Seasons junior suite for a few nights in Whistler, getting a golfer’s massage at said Four Seasons and playing unique courses like Furry Creek. Seriously with this type of work load, how am I ever going to find the time?

What can I say, boss. I’m spent. I’ll get to that lesson. But first, I have to try out this Canadian ice wine. The research never ends.

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