Wake up Michelle Wie nincompoops! McDonald insulted Jennifer Mario's hair

The all too predictable outcry of the Michelle Wie delusional to Old Man McDonald’s blog on her Solheim Cup status seems to have missed one important point. You Wie Warriors are really slipping. You’re letting your leader down.

Don’t you realize what happened. McDonald insulted Jennifer Mario’s hair!

How can you stand for that? You crazies really need to read these blogs a little closer. More than 24 hours later, I’m the one who has to step in and defend Mario, the Michelle Wie bower.

I kept waiting and waiting for someone to step in. Cheryl? Allan? Wei? Papa Wie! No, no, no, no. What has gone wrong? Jennifer Mario faithfully buys the Michelle Wie hype, again and again and again and no one’s covering her fritz. That’s what McDonald did. Called her hair frizzy!

If that’s not cause for a message board overload, I don’t know what is. Now, the Mario Sister is more than capable of defending herself. And I’m sure she will soon (Mario tends to post her blogs after she’s gone crazy by drinking a half a Seagrams wine cooler on Saturday nights). But until then someone has to step in.

Many of you would probably go to the card of it being ridiculous for McDonald to comment about anyone else’s hair. But that’s wrong. If you were well into your second century, you’d be proud to have that guy’s head coverage too. No, this is simply about a Florida resident (big surprise there, huh?) who drives around with his left turn signal on from sunrise to sunset (OK, till 3:30) simply being incapable of accepting any hairstyle past the days of the beehive.

Sure, Mario sounds like she’s thinking as clearly as Randy Moss on one of his “blue moons” when she declares that the no-win Wie is a dominant force. But that’s no reason to let someone rip on her do. If it wasn’t for following her lead, I never would have discovered the guilty joys of being a massage golf guy.

I owe a lot to that crazy Mario. But not as much as you Wie nincompoops do. She makes it seem like a professional journalist could agree with the loony tunes. You’d better have her back.

Or in this case, her hair.