Anyone who’s been to both Las Vegas and New York knows that Gotham’s title as the City That Never Sleeps is pure ceremonial hogwash. Sure, you can get a great burger till 4 a.m. at the Corner Bistro on 4th street in New York, but that’s about it …

Can you see a Broadway show in New York at 10:30 p.m.? No, but you can in Vegas. Can you go to a nightclub where the action’s only getting started at 3 a.m. in New York? No, but you can in Vegas. Can you get married in a surge of spontaneous love at 4:46 a.m. in New York? No, but you ….

Scratch that last one. In a bigger blow to Las Vegas’ identity than that white tiger going wild on Roy, the early morning stupor weddings have been all but eliminated. The Clark County marriage-license bureau ended its 27-year tradition of being open 24 hours Fridays, Saturdays and holidays in a fit of bureaucratic stupidity. Now marriage licenses are limited to 8 a.m. to midnight, 365 days a year.

The cost-cutting move has only been in effect for a week and already Vegas is losing some of its rebel luster.

Think this isn’t a big deal? Think again my regular hours, limited-thinking square!

Seventy five percent of the celebrity weddings in America wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t for Vegas’ all-night licensing. Britney Spears and that dork from her high school got married well after midnight and well before dawn - the perfect hour for a perfect union.

Yes, that marriage was annulled after two days because of Britney’s Michelle Wie-camp-like overbearing handlers. But think how much better we all are for it.

Sure, you can still get married at 5:17 a.m. off that 17th shot - if you have the forethought to get a license before midnight. When the hell did Las Vegas start having anything to do with forethought?

This week really makes me wonder if there’s any hope left for America. First, TravelGolf.com’s rising star BTuck refuses to talk about hot Polish blondes. Now this …

Fake Elvis is crying in the wedding cake. OK, he might have just passed out. But he’s still upset.

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