Hyatt's BlackBerry massages the latest proof of a world gone mad
Look, I’m all for the massage thing. If that’s what gets you going, more power to you.
But then they had to go out and make spas look downright ridiculous.
The Hyatt hotel chain has started offering BlackBerry Massages in all its upscale spas. And yes, this is exactly what you think it is.
It’s a bunch of pretenious I’m-so-important types sitting around a spa getting their thumbs caressed. These are the people who just have to let you know how much time they spend on their BlackBerrys - or as they call them (hah, hah) CrackBerrys, which they believe qualifies as the height of humor. These people are so in demand, so essential that their little thumbs hurt because of all the hours they peck away.
Worst yet, the The American Physical Therapy Association just recognized BlackBerry Thumb as an official work place malady. Why do I think there had to be a band of chiropractors behind this?
This makes carpal tunnel syndrome - that other ridiculous supposed working malady - look like lupus by comparison. Anyone who’s ever worked in a newspaper office knows a few people who’ve put in claims of carpal tunnel syndrome damage. Amazing, the ones who get afflicted always happen to be the people who don’t do much work anyways.
I have a friend who went in for carpal tunnel syndrome surgery once (he did work hard, I’ll give him that, there’s always an exception) and this procedure bordered on the medieval. He couldn’t even pick up his daughter for weeks. He had these holes stuck into his arms. All that for carpal tunnel?
Spare me the drama. And the BlackBerry dorks taking up space in the spa next to the guys who’ve really put in a long day. The guys suffering from golfer’s back.
No more fake workday pains interfering with golf.
When I was kid, my thumbs sometimes got sore from playing Nintendo. But you didn’t see a bunch of kids lined up at the doctor’s office.
Get over it already.
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It's ironic that you toss off Lupus in your rant. Until just around 10 years ago it was still common to think of Lupus as being in the mind of the victim. Luckily for the ass playing your part, the Lupus victim on average was dead within 9 years and not around to be in your face.
It may be true that Blackberry geeks bring it on themselves -- as with golfers ignoring advice about their backs -- but that doesn't mean that they aren't feeling real pain.
If you can figure it out on your own, I'll lift my curse. Otherwise damn you to a painful invisible stew of maladys that everyone you know thinks is "just in his mind."
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