Masters champ Zach Johnson more boring than a Saturday night in Iowa, but his layup strategy sings
Whenever the mainstream media touts somebody as a “normal guy”, you know he’s actually more boring than Charlie Gibson at a corn-growing festival. What do you expect from the new champion of the most mundane Masters ever, Zach Johnson, though?
He’s from Iowa. Again, he’s from Iowa. That’s not one strike. That’s one, two, three and four strikes right there against the ability to be interesting. But that’s not all. No, Johnson has it even worse.
His dad is a chiropractor. Yes, one of those quacks who no doubt wheels a plastic skeleton around a mall and offers free “consultations.” A chiropractor’s son from Iowa?
It’s a wonder Zach Johnson can sleep through a single night let alone swing a golf club. You’d be better off being raised by Michael Jackson in Cuba.
Still Zach Johnson overcame it all - that hardscrabble upbringing in the mean cornfields of Cedar Rapids (he didn’t even get the single traffic light of Des Moines!), a dad with a job that makes less sense than squeegee man - and conquered with one of the best Masters gameplans of all time.
Johnson didn’t go for a single par 5 in two. He laid up every single, freaking time. Now, this will get you scorn from Neanderthals out there like our own Tim McDonald, who feign a macho attitude while spending their free time smooching puppies.
It will also get you a $1.3 million first-place check and a green jacket from Phil Mickelson. Zach Johnson, the true proud Mr. Layup, recorded 11 birdies on Augusta’s par 5s for the week. So much for the joys of going for it.
Johnson’s a true golf hero with brains.
Now, maybe he can get his dad into a respected profession and move far, far from Iowa. Hey, all his other dreams are coming true.
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It's not boring; it's golf.
What more did you want? It was nip and tuck all the way, and you had to expect that at any moment Woods would make a charge and the prey would fold. But, in the end, Johnson cooly closed out the victory and became a great upset winner.
Quite frankly, I think that a big part of the problem is that many of you folks are cult of personality types. You don't like golf as much as you like to see certain players in contention, such as Woods, Mickelson, etc, and if they're not there at the end you want to take your dimpled ball and go home.
If you didn't find this Masters dramatic, you don't find golf dramatic.
Look at all those winged piglets ice skating in Hades!
Smails and I are, are, are, I can hardly type it..... in agreement.....
It can never happen again......
Seriously, the Masters was great drama, and great sport, with more lead changes than the NCAA tournament. Purty to look at too.
And, thank God, CBS didn't play that hideous elevator music during the finals that they were playing on Saturday. What was up with that, were they trying to make golf stuffy and dull?
Even some of the member bloggers don't get it.
A few weeks ago after Woods had that rough Sunday, Shanks wrote that "Tiger was in a slump." He won the tournament the next week.
And today, after watching Woods finish T3rd, Tim says that he proved he is not a good charger. He has apparently forgotten the many events that Tiger has won coming from behind. Also he says that Woods wasn't comfortable with his swing, he couldn't hit a drive, etc.
Now Barry and Stacy chime in with "Tiger didn't bring his A game, and he didn't relaxed."
Folks, Tiger doesn't win EVERY time out. He doesn't even win half the time, or even a fourth of the time although he comes close to the latter. If ANY PGA player always had his A game on, and he was also the best front runner as well as the best charger, and he was confident with his swing, relaxed and driving them all 300 plus and straight down the middle, that golfer would win every tournameny he entered.
Also, many people don't get what happens on a really tough layout. They expect Tiger to come sweeping from behind with a rash of birdie, but it didn't happen yesterday, and it is unlikely to ever happen again at Augusta. Peter Kostis, A Woods sycophant if there ever was one, was practically predicting that Woods would win it going away.
Tiger is great, but even he can't do the impossible. Look at it this way, Woods played a super tough Masters' course, grinding every inch of the way, and in the end he scored as good as or better than everyone in the field but Zach. What elsr do you want of the guy?
Oh, although most won't believe me, the reason why some people's symptoms are ameliorated by chiropractic is that virtually all back pain is psychogenic. And I speak from experience. The placebo effect is powerful.
Being underestimated is a great advantage in life.
should look at what he does and consider what he
does and and how worthless that is compared to trying to help anyone that hurts. I think it is better for to thank god then it is to take all the credit. There has to be natural ability to play at that level and it is obvious the writer doesn't have it or he would be playing and not critisizing the winner!
I like Zach Johnson.
I view manners and respect as being of the utmost importance.
Chiropractic is bunk, and it doesn't matter how many famous people have been deluded into subscribing to it. Heck, Nancy Reagan consulted astrologers, and that didn't carry any weight with me either.
e-mail? Thanks a lot.
Zach's dad is a chiropracter - you're a newswriter who no one has ever heard of.
Zach's appears to be a nice guy and I hope he wins in the future.
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