It never bothers me when someone complains that golf is boring to watch on TV. Or when someone - usually a NASCAR loser who just spent seven straight hours camped out on the couch - whines that golf just takes too long to play.

To each his own.

Unless the golf complainer is an NFL Draft nitwit. Then … well, it’s beyond ridiculous. For there’s no greater waste of time in human history than actually watching the NFL Draft. Once ESPN and now the NFL Network started blowing this exercise in tedium up, paint drying breathed a big sigh of relief. It’s off the hook forevermore.

It was bad enough when there was one Mel Kiper and everyone sort of snickered at him. Now everybody from the mail man to the junior broker thinks he’s Mel Kiper. You think people talking about their golf games is bad? That’s nothing compared to listening to some guy in a bowl cut who makes the 40-year-old Virgin look like a hip, happening dude go on and on and on about who he thinks Green Bay needs to take with pick 63.

I enjoy watching other sports besides golf. The NBA and NFL provide great drama. In the actual games. Not in the glorified choosing up of sides.

I can see following the NFL Draft. Fine, get the updates on your cell phone or BlackBerry as the picks come in - you only have to look once every 15 minutes to be on top of it as Kiper. But to sit there and watch this monstrosity of hype as it unfolds in mind-numbing TV “moments” is the equivalent of a root canal without the Novocain.

Even Michelle Wie thinks this is a lot of fuss over nothing.

When I woke up in the morning on the West Coast, Brady Quinn was waiting to be picked. When I arrived at the golf shop, Brady Quinn was waiting to be picked. When I walked back in after finishing a round on a public course on a beautiful sunny Saturday, Brady Quinn was still waiting to be picked.

What drama. If you’re used to spending your day quilting.

Permalink 1 comment