An iPhone surely soothes the wound of Michelle Wie's latest embarrassing withdrawal from U.S. Women's Open

People have their priorities so out of whack. Sure Michelle Wie withdrew for the second time in three tournaments at the U.S. Women’s Open today. Sure somewhere near a Hooters, John Daly is admiring this 17-year-old’s ability to come up with stories on why she has to leave events early. (And Wie hasn’t even had to pull the knife card yet!) Sure Wie’s personal wrist massage therapist probably just landed herself a lifetime contract.

But does any of this really matter in the big scheme of it all?

Not when you consider this probable truth: Michelle Wie has an iPhone and you don’t. It’s a near certainty that the Winless Wonder will be able to soothe her wounds (both of the psyche and of the possibly acted) with the latest technological wonder. Sure John Street, the mayor of Philadelphia and even Spike Lee had to wait in line themselves for the latest in super marketing hype (though whether Spike actually waited or just showed up in front is in dispute).

But I’m betting that the Winless Wonder has more pull than all those fools. Let’s face it. She’s Michelle Wie and you’re not. What’s golf anyways? Just a game. Wie runs a much larger game.

This is why I admire other people who have their priorities straight. People like the lovely Jennifer Mario who choses to write about the kids rather than the Wie. Why muddle people’s minds with some unpleasant truths? And who doesn’t love kids?

Besides, I’m with Mario on this one. Hey, Michelle might have an extra iPhone or two lying around. The withdrawal queen has pull. And you don’t.