Are most golfers really as nasty as Tim McDonald makes them sound?

I once called up TravelGolf.com National Golf Editor Tim McDonald at his home and found myself talking to a guy who sounded like he hadn’t been above the Mason-Dixon line in about 40 years. This guy made Elmer Fudd seem like a city slicker. I think he told me he was McDonald’s “Coon Buddy.”

Anyway, the nice man informed me that sorry but Tim was out laying some concrete on the property. In the background, you could hear what sounded like a jackhammer and the unmistakable voice of McDonald going primeval on something.

I only bring this up to add some perspective to McDonald’s story on packing for a long golf trip. The story in which he urges readers to pack two collarless T-shirts for the whole trip that they can wear on the golf course for 18 or 36 holes, go to dinner in and then turn around and do it all over again the next day. In the same shirt.

After washing it out in the sink with …. drum roll, please … Woolite. McDonald boasts that he can go “a two or even three-week golf trip” like this. Hooray for Funkmeister!

Now, everyone at TravelGolf.com knows that McDonald lives in a Florida swamp that’s so backwards and remote that even mud crawlers avoid it. I think we’ve all sort of assumed that he has running water and no latrine, but I’m pretty sure none of us have ever confirmed it. For a while there, his Internet connection was about as strong as those string phones that kids make.

I’m starting to wonder now if there’s not just a hole in the ground out back marked “Toilet” and squirrels spilling out of his kitchen cabinets. Hey, if he wants a road out of the swamp, he apparently has to lay down the concrete himself and then wake up Mr. Ed.

With this in mind, I’m holding out hope that most golfers aren’t as hygiene challenged on their trips as McDonald professes to be. I’ve hung out with plenty of seasoned golfers who wear shirts that actually button up and get ironed on my travels. Maybe, I’m just out with the elite of the elite though.

You know … people who believe in soap.

Heck, there are kids as young as Brandon Tucker who take some pride in their personal appearance (speaking of this, check out BTuck’s snazzy new blog photo - the High School Musical crowd is atwitter about it).

Maybe I’m just out of touch though. I must confess that a decade-long friend recently labeled me “a snob” when I raised an eyebrow at her proposed restaurant choice. Maybe I’m no longer in tune with the peeps.

So tell me. Are you as nasty as our Old Man Mac when it comes to golf road trips?

Responding will give you time to wait for the next installment in McDonald’s series, “Deodorant, what is it good for!”