Yes, it’s true that Rory Sabbatini pulled off a withdrawal from one of Tiger Woods’ tournaments (how long before every PGA Tour event has Tiger in its name?) last weekend that was almost Team Wie-like in its gutless guile. Though in fairness to Sabbatini, he wasn’t in danger of being banned from the Tour for one year or on the verge of a historically humiliating score. He was just playing bad golf in a glorified Silly Season event, 28 shots back at the time he packed up his courtesy car and disappeared.

Sabbatini left the Target World Challenge after the third round, never bothering to show on Sunday - Tiger’s day - and finish the job that earned him $170,000 (the last place cut). There are reports - and eyewitnesses who swear Sabbatini said it himself - that he bolted to get a head start on a Hawaii vacation. Having recently returned from my first Hawaii trip myself, this suddenly makes me see Sabbatini’s thinking.

Hang with stick-in-the-mud Tiger who can sometimes make funeral directors seem humorous, or rock and roll in Hawaii? It’s Hawaii every time.

Still, Tiger is understandably pissed. Associated Press golf writer Doug Ferguson breathlessly reports Woods simply gave a long cold stare at one Sabbatini question (Ooh, how scary!!)

Which is fine and more than within Tiger’s right. In fact, it’s downright good for golf. One of the great developments of a somewhat ho-hum 2007 season was how Woods started to admit how much these little feuds with guys like Sabbatini and Woody Austin fuel him to crush them on the course.

What isn’t right about the Sabbatini withdrawal furor is how a collection of Has Beens and Never Will Bes all jockeying to curry favor with Tiger have piled on Sabbatini. The ploy is more transparent than any dress Britney Spears wore all year and sort of sad and pathetic.

There’s Fred Couples, mocking the albeit ridiculous shin splints excuse offered by Sabbatini’s agent. “Of course, he did,” Couples said of Sabbatini pulling out because of shin splints, “and Roger Clemens’ agent said he didn’t do steroids.”

That’s a hilarious line from Couples - especially since he mocks Clemens, arguably the biggest phony in sports history. Or it would be hilarious if it didn’t reek of the desperation of a guy who sees the end and just wants Tiger to invite him along for more easy paydays in these pose-and-smile events.

Mark Calcavecchia piled on by saying, “I don’t think the fans missed (Sabbatini).”

Several players suggested that Sabbatini was messing with the wrong guy and told everyone that Sabbatini should donate his money to Tiger’s charity.

All no doubt hoping to get some Tiger points. Maybe, he’ll be nice to me now.

Please. These guys are lamer than Sabbatini’s agent excuse.

Tiger Woods needs to fight his own battles. No more having the Scaredy Cat Brigade lining up to take shots for him. If Tiger wants to blast Sabbatini, he needs to do it himself.

As for Sabbatini? He should donate that $170,000 to charity, every last cent. Only not to Tiger’s charity. He should pick a good cause of his own choosing and put the money there. And make sure it’s super public. So Tiger knows that he snubbed the Tiger charity for another.

Then, Fred Couples can start whining again.

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