Staying at Omni Tucson National Resort recently, I somehow stumbled across the fact that there were none of the usual adult-only skin flicks that are prevalent in the in-room entertainment systems of both the finest and the worst hotels in the country (and everything in between). Obviously, this knowledge came about by happenstance because of course I don’t go looking for those kind of things.

I’ve never seen Blind Date UnCensored Heavenly Hotties! And any argument that it’s five times as artistic as Blind Date Bodies On Fire would be pure conjecture. That $14.99 on that hotel bill was for Michael Clayton, Castle Baron Boss. What a performance by Tilda Swinton playing off George Clooney too.

Who did she play again? The cheerleader with the cotton allergy?

Anyway, when I discovered by blind chance that Omni Tucson National had no skin vision, like Christopher Columbus running into an island, at first I chalked it up to the fact that the resort is in the midst of a $92 million expansion makeover that’s changing pretty much everything. Many things are not fully ironed out at Tucson National yet. The movie system was probably one of them.

Only after conducting some research (that’s what the best of us reporters do), I found out that no Omni Hotels offer porn. It’s a company policy set by the one man who essentially owns all 39 Omnis - Texas oil billionaire Robert Rowling, the 49th richest American according to Forbes Magazine and a major contributor to George W. Bush’s presidential campaigns, which makes WorldGolf.com blogger William K. Wolfrum instantly hate him for no logical reason (which is the only reason I put it in).

“As a father of two sons, I was uncomfortable with the late-night entertainment available,” Rowling told reporters when the company first put in the ban. “"We didn’t want to generate revenue on pornography.”

So Rowling turned his back on a lucrative segment of the hotel business. Those in-room porns produce more than $200 million in revenue for the hotel industry every year (this with the actual hotels only getting about $2.50 from each movie ordered - the rest goes to the service providers). Though of course, you’ve never ordered one.

During my Tucson National stay, I watched No Country For Old Men. There’s surely not a better family values flick than this. What about the lame ending where the killer gets in car crash that even Paris Hilton could have seem coming?

Of course, that’s what I would have watched in any hotel room. As pure as a democratic governor from New York myself (oh wait, suddenly a bad example), I leave that sex in golf stuff to Jennifer Mario.

Makes you wonder why Tiger Woods chose to stay at the much farther away Westin La Paloma while he was competing in Tucson though, doesn’t it?

Stewart Cink - Mr. 8-and-7 layover loser to Tiger in the final - did stay at Omni Tucson National too. Stewie only seemed slightly tenser than Mark McGwire in front of Congress as well.

Anyway, back to scouring YouTube for Christian Rock videos.

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