I’ve been to driving ranges around the world. I’ve taken my practice hacks on the best driving range/practice facility in the known universe (the PGA Learning Center in Port St. Lucie), some spectacularly good ones (the new made-over Pelican Hill’s is hard to top) and plenty of lame ones where you’re just hitting into a net.

In all these driving range experiences, I’ve never come across thick, dehabilitating, beat-you-up rough.

You know, the kind of rough Michelle Wie apparently encountered in a sneak attack on Stanford’s driving range. (I’ve been to Stanford’s range years ago, but maybe I just missed it).

If you haven’t been paying attention to the latest in the weird world of Wie - and let’s face it, even Wie Warriors are having a hard time feigning interest these days - that is what knocked Wie out of this week’s Safeway International at Superstition Mountain in the greater Phoenix-Scottsdale resort corridor. Wie found a portion of Stanford’s range that is more fearsome than the killer from No Country for Old Men.

Straight from a press release from Jill Smoller of the William Morris Agency: Michelle reinjured her left wrist when she accidentally hit a ball that was embedded in a thick rough at the range at Stanford University on March 13.

I don’t know what’s more quizzically comical: That Wie’s ball was “embedded” or that she “accidentally” hit it. OK, I do know which.

How do you accidentally hit a golf ball? Does it just jump onto your club face and start taunting you until you swing? Is this a Poltergeist issue where some power is forcing her to move her arms out of her control (besides, alien-swing-stealer David Leadbetter of course). If so I think the Department of Homeland Security needs to be consulted.

I know Team Wie thinks they desperately need a platoon of PR agents. But maybe that’s how you come up with loony stuff like this. It’s never a simple explanation with Wie. Instead she’s being attacked by a driving range. Accidentally.

That sounds about perfect.

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