Sports Illustrated's Michelle Wie story Masters week as lame as Doogie Howser's Britany Spears insults

When the NFL Draft rolls around, are we subjected to full features on Heath Shuler and Akili Smith every year? Sure, they’ll get the occasional mention in a biggest busts of all time story, but no one’s hearing about their every move.

So why is Sports Illustrated giving us more Michelle Wie - the biggest bust in golf history - during Masters week? Couldn’t they have worked in a story on an emerging star with a great Masters shot - like Brandt Snedeker, he of the 69-68, for example?

Instead I flip through the Golf Plus section of my SI this week (the one with the cover Memphis coach John Calipari surely cannot look at) and come across a full page on Wie. To make it worse - and more amusing at the same time - it’s a guest column written by former Wie swing coach Gary Gilchrist that basically screams out, “Dump Leadbetter and take me back. Your career depends on it!”

Oh, Gilchrist crouches it in a more diplomatic manner. Much like I might throw an occasional fake bouquet at my loathesome WorldGolf.com rival William K. Wolfrum. (Truth is, I hear K. has a problem with his urinary function).

Gilchrist writes: It’s hard to beat Michelle’s current teacher, David Leadbetter. There isn’t anyone in the world who can look at a swing and analyze it the way he can. But the amount of time David can spend with anyone is limited. Moreover, unlike Michelle, most of the players David works with our very experienced.

In other words, Leadbetter’s a lout who’s not giving you enough attention, plus he doesn’t know squat about guiding an up-and-coming golfer. Nicely done, Gilchrist! But again, I have to read this Masters week? Arguably the biggest, actual golf week of the year. And we’re talking Michelle Wie!

This pains me to no end. The last thing I wanted to do was insert Michelle Wie into any Masters talk. Damn you, SI and your Miss Hype Machine agenda! Maybe, I should consult TravelGolf.com’s Jennifer Mario and see if Michael Bamberger was tied up in a broom closet or something, unable to prevent this.

This Masters deserved to be treated with respect and dignity. Not subject to ridiculous attention-grabbing publicity stunts geared toward getting the big bust back into headlines.

It brings to mind Neil Patrick Harris - Doogie Howser to those who don’t know his real name and you shouldn’t - ripping on Britney Spears this week after she gave Harris’ current lame and completely overhyped by a few media losers sitcom How I Met Your Mother its greatest ratings ever in a guest spot. Doogie man complains that Spears was bad for the show because she only represented “stunt casting.”

You know, like making Doogie Howser a womanizer - 20 years after anyone realized Doogie was still alive.

Enough. I don’t want hear third-rate actors criticizing Britney for putting some life into their pathetic show. And I certainly don’t want to be subjected to any more mentions of Michelle Wie during Masters week.

Can we watch golf, please?