Can Mike Weir become the first natural loser Canadian to win anything during the Olympics at FedEx Cup?

Canadians are cute. You can’t deny that. Especially now that they’re all convinced that they’re suddenly this economic superpower because their Loonies are actually worth more than 3.5 pennies. Of course as the Canucks strut about, their collective military power is still equivalent to your fourth grader’s water gun collection and they’re getting lapped in Olympic medals by countries like the Ukraine and Belarus. Heck, Ethiopia has more gold medals than our neighbors to the North.

I believe Canada’s official medal count for the 2008 Beijing Games is minus 10.

Which is where Mike Weir can come in and save the day. Weir finds himself only a shot back of the lead heading into the final round of The Barclays today after shooting a 4-under 67 Saturday. (In large part because Steve Stricker received that memo from Tim Finchem on screwing up the FedEx Cup and dutifully went triple bogey crazy). Now, sure golf isn’t actually an Olympic sport - despite Phil Mickelson’s smile-happy lobbying. But do you think your average Canadian knows this?

Please. This is a nation where Pineapple Express is not a two-hour escape, it’s a way of life.

So if Weir can pull it off today in New Jersey (again, your average Moose lover is not going to notice any difference between the Garden State and China), he can make an entire nation feel good about itself again. Hey, it’s a win that would have happened during the Olympics. If not actually at them.

If you’re Canadian, you’d take this.

Of course, the only problem with that dream is that Weir wins golf tournaments about as often as Canada medals in the Olympics. The 38-year-old Weir has eight career wins. In other words, the LA Clippers have a better track record. Still, this doesn’t stop Canadians from going gaga when Weir beats Tiger Woods in a meaningless President’s Cup match after everything has already been decided. So maybe, Weir can finish third today and at least make Canada think it finally has a bronze medal.

Then, it’s party on Robson street!

Weir is certainly trying his best at the FedEx Cup. No, not extra practice or anything. Don’t be so American driven. Instead, Weir’s grown a beard. And he’s telling everyone it’s a playoff beard - you know one of those things the hockey players who barely shave during the regular season break out at the playoffs because … well, your average hockey player is about as bright as one of the characters from Pineapple Express.

Ah, a playoff beard. Talk about your cute stories. And that’s what Canadians do best.

How can Mike Weir lose now? Oh yeah, he’s Canadian.