Killing me slowly: Crane's win sets golf back
Reading Tim McDonald’s recap of Ben Crane’s agonizingly slow win at the US Bank Championship reminded me of my favorite John Wooden quote: “Be quick, but never hurry.”
If we’re lucky, Crane’s win won’t inspire a new wave of golfers to spend more time hovering over every shot. There are already enough slow golfers, and I’m convinced most of them have visited my local muni at some point.
I’m not suggesting everyone needs to race through their next round, but I’m sure there’s a way to enjoy golf without overanalyzing every single bleeping shot. Like the Wizard of Westwood said, you can be efficient without rushing through things. It’s as true in golf as it is in basketball.
Bottom line? Slow play is killing golf. The USGA and everyone else who cares thinks it’s the rising green fees. Yes, it’s a factor. However, I’m convinced slow play keeps more golfers away. Instead, the PGA Tour - and most everyone, for that matter - just pays the issue lip service, giving it the same level of attention John Daly gives his diet.
Don’t know how it is at your course, but the course marshal here always seems much more concerned about the beer stashed at the bottom of my bag than getting people off the course before dark. Priorities, people!
And really, if you want to increase play, you need to target the real decision-maker in the house: The wife. Just a hunch, but I’m thinking the wife would be much more agreeable to your weekly round with the guys if you could promise to be home in four hours instead of five or six.
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Sincerely , Luis
Golf courses have a significant fixed cost and if their clients insist on a 5 hour round instead of a 4 hour round that means 20% less golfers through in a day and logically a 20% increase in green fees.
If golf were truely a four hour or less game we would see a stabilization in green fees and the average person would be able to fit in more than one round a month.
Eliminating slow play is good for everyone involved in the game. Let's get all of the relevant organizations including the PGA Tour involved and the attrition rate will go down meaning more rounds played and more enjoyment for golfers everywhere.
Based on a fourball:
When someone hits a poor shot into the trees dont ALL go and look for it , 1 extra suffices .
When playing a hole leave your trolley /cart in line with the next tee
Dont behave like a pro before you hit when you play off 20+ . You just look silly .
Dont spend 5 minutes admiring your partners shot when your next to hit ,epecially on the green where you should have checked your line while he was putting. That alone would speed a lot of players up .
Finally dont play snakes when its busy .
Golf is fun. Golf with three friends is even more fun. But taking 5 hours to finish a round makes it less fun. And no fun for people behind you.
Something that connects the slow, monotonous pace of Ben f'in Crane. A nickname worthy of a good chuckle.
For example, when I miss a putt, especially one that seems to rape me, I curse it with "Kobe f'in Bryant!"
I've rambled enough. Any good nicknames out there?
Many of the above comments accurately capture specifics which slow down play. Generally speaking, the true problem is that many people who play the game have never learned how to play the game properly, both from a perspective of "pace of play" and proper etiquette.
What's needed is better enforcement of slow play. This is incumbenet upon individual courses to enforce and teach. People feel that if they pay money to play a round, they should be able to do whatever the hell they want. Courses need to have marshalls that actually enforce pace of play and teach ways to step up the pace, instead of driving around in a golf cart, fixing the boundary ropes and sucking free golf out of it. Repeat offenders of slow play should be denied access to the course. That's my take.
Bronco - some of the sayings I use:
Monica: (after Monica Lewinsky) A putt that rims the lip, but doesn't grab the hole.
Thurman: (after Thurman Munson) A pulled shot to the left, i.e. - a dead yank.
Expel the slow golfers from the course, then they'll speed up real fast.
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