Golf and wedding rings don't mix

My headline is a bit misleading. I did it that way on purpose.

It’s true. Golf can be hazardous to a marriage.

I’m living proof. I’m currently living on the edge of too much golf for my wife’s tastes. If I increased my annual golf output another 10 rounds - up from the 60 or so I do now - I’m sure my wife would start getting bitter about how the game is ruining our family and leaving our children deprived of a competent father.

But for the most part, golf and marriage live together in harmony a million places around the country. It’s the wedding ring that’s in jeopardy.

I’ve lost my wedding ring at least five times in the past several years … all because of golf. I can’t play golf with my ring on. I’ve tried. It’s not comfortable. It’s not fun. My game is bad enough, I don’t need another thing to distract me and cause me discomfort.

I lose my ring so often, my wife has actually given me permission to leave my ring at home when I’m off on a golf trip. She’d rather have her hot hunk of a stud man cruising golf bars without a ring on (laughable, I know) than deal with another all-out, panic-filled search of the house, the car and the golf bag, looking for the misplaced ring.

I got home from a golf binge on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail in Alabama two weeks ago knowing my ring was somewhere among my luggage. But it could have been anywhere. I was sure I hadn’t lost it, but wasn’t sure where it actually was. My wife just shrugged when I told her it was missing. She’s used to this game by now. She doesn’t even offer to help me look anymore.

In the past, I’ve found my ring days after a trip or weekend of golf in my travel backpack, my golf bag, my wallet, my golf tee bag, my glasses case. This time it was in a new place. In my business card holder. It was buried among several files of papers, the kind of propaganda golf writers accumulate on these trips.

Thankfully, I’m not the only lughead who flirts with the marriage doghouse by losing his ring. Turns out, a former co-worker of mine had a much worse experience. He actually lost his ring and had to buy another.

Sorry honey, but that will likely be me someday. It’s all but guaranteed.