My top five golf annoyances (besides Chris Baldwin)
In keeping with managing editor Mark Nessmith?s directive to complain more, I?ve decided to outline my top golf peeves. Perhaps you can relate:
5. Loud talkers. They?re everywhere, including the golf course. Would it kill you to notice there?s someone putting out twenty paces away from you when you?re yukking it up on the next tee? At the SAS Championship a few weeks ago, I witnessed a disgruntled Bobby Wadkins, who was teeing off on the tenth, comment to a marshal, ?go ask that guy over there if our game is disrupting his conversation.? So I guess I?m not the only one bothered by blowhards.
4. Sexism. Last week a round with my sister turned into a five-hour ordeal due to the two slugs in front of us. But at the turn, the fellas behind us (who?d been hitting into us all day) cut through while we grabbed a sandwich, explaining to the two slugs, ?those girls back there were really slowing us down.? To their credit, the slugs set them straight: ?uh, actually, they were waiting on us.? To their shame, they never let us play through.
3. Overly long holes. Yeah, I?m aware there are a few women out there who can drive the ball 250, but those women are a rare breed. So why design par-4?s that are longer than 400 yards from the reds? It just ain?t right.
2. By the same token, finding red tee markers on the white tee box. Gentlemen, how often do you find your markers back there next to the blacks? Ever? I didn?t think so. If greenskeepers want to mix things up for the day, they could try moving the whites up there next to our reds. Let the guys practice their short game, rather than make us ladies hit driver off the deck.
And the number-one peeve is?
1. Rules know-it-alls. You know, the woman in your group who casually wants to know how many penalty strokes you gave yourself on that OB, or the self-appointed rules expert who paces off your ball to see if he can catch you making an illegal drop, then waits until after you’ve signed your scorecard before turning you in, for maximum damage. Yeah, you know who you are.
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14 comments
1. Marshals/Course Assistants thst seem more interested in watching your swing/chatting than moving things along
2. Cart girls who only appear on the second and LAST holes.
3. Stroke and Distance
4. A divot NOT being ground "under repair"
5. A WAY TO SMALL blog photo of Jennifer Mario. She looks kind of cute....but who can really tell?
I love a good opportunity to complain, so I'll add a few peeves of my own.
4. Snobs in the pro shop: get over yourselves!
3. Being paired up with course know-it-alls: "Never played here before? Let me explain EVERY detail of where you want to put EVERY shot." If only they'd hold my hand when I go to the restroom...
2. Tantrums: if you're upset with your performance on a particular swing or hole score, hold off on your tantrum until others have finished their swings (especially putts).
1. Disrespect on the tees: In addition to ego, this might be a reason guys will play the blacks when the other guys do even though they're smart enough to know they should play from the whites. When a group of people are hitting from one set of tees (say, 3 men hitting from the whites) and the fourth person is hitting from the reds (say, me) they're all quiet and respectful while the three of them tee off. Then I walk up to my tees (always having to hit last even if I've earned honors) and the way they carry on back there is as if the teeing off has already been completed or they think their voices don't travel the whopping 15 yards distance to the reds. Yesterday, one guy's tee shot went into the weeds to the side of the red tees and he was thrashing around cracking the reeds in my periforal vision while I was trying to tee off. Clueless!
Hot dogs that have been left cooking since Eisenhower was President
Starters who are stretching to gawk at your ass (I don't know about you Jen...but its starting to piss me off!)
Undercharged golf carts running out of gas at the furthest point from the hole
People who REFUSE to fix ballmarks
The guy who yells "ONE" every time the ball falls off the tee before you hit
Courses that have the holes so tight together you hear "fore" and "incoming" so much you feel like your in a scene from "apocalypse now".
Playing partners whose only tip in life is..."you lifted your head on that one"
5. People that hit two balls really piss me off. If you hit it that bad, get your butt off the course and get on the range.
4. People that can't hold their booze on the golf course, who yell at making a two-footer.
3. Cart person who drives while you are in your address position.
2. People who run to try to play through you.
1. Women who complain of sexism on the golf course. We all deal with the situation you described, so get over it.
While I don't condone the behavior, I have one question:
What is more disappointing, a starter "stretching to gawk at your ass " or the day you realize that the starter is no longer stretching to gawk at your ass?
4. ALL of the Golf Channel announcers except Nobilo - where did they dig up these guys?
3. Golf Carts - should be only for those with legitmate physical issues besides being fat & lazy.
2. No driving range at course - how's a brother supposed to start well without a proper warm-up?
1. Slow play - 'nuff said.
If these yardage markers are maintained would this not help in speeding up play?
Also, double and even triple-teeing
Also, I travel a lot to review courses and, as a single, they frequently pair me up with guys at least 150 years old who hit it 50 yards off the tee on a good day. Shouldn't there be more of an effort to pair people with similar handicaps? Yeah, that may be asking too much
here's a couple of mine.
A golfer (male)a 22 handicaper, insisting that the 12 handicap lady must play from the forward tees.
bad shot player stomping around the tee while others are trying to tee off. gosh, he does it around the green too. Guys talking after they've finished their putts but the lady hasn't yet.
having to putt over a sprinkler head at the fringe of the green but if your ball is on one you can move the ball. If it's bad enough not to putt from what makes it any better to putt over?
Great stuff here!
thanks,
J.J. Gowland
author of "Confessions of a Sandbagger"
PS Tim. I commisserate with you about the pro shops placing a single any where. I usually tell the pro shop what my handicap is so he (and it's usually a he), knows that I'm no slouch.
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