A gallant elderly gentleman I was once paired with asked me, “Are your eyes bothering you?” “No,” I replied. “Why do you ask?” “Because they’re bothering me,” he said with a wink.

There’s a pretty blond out there whose eyes aren’t bothering her either—Brittany Lincicome, two-time LPGA winner, member of the 2007 Solheim Cup team, just signed an exclusive multi-year deal with Tifosi Optics, makers of performance eyewear. The 21-year-old Floridian will lend her name to two custom models available next year.

The schtick: Tifosi offers sunglasses specifically designed for women, with narrower frames and female-specific features such as “adjustable nose pads to reduce eyelash rub.” Yeah, that’s what I look for in my women-specific eyewear: reduced eyelash rub. It’s a critical feature for me. I mean, you’re lining up a 20-footer for birdie, and it happens. The dreaded eyelash rub. My eyelashes are just too long.

I’m all for narrow frames, too—mainly because I hate it when my glasses are pushed up on my head, and I lean over to putt, and the glasses fall right off onto the ball. Such incidents can really distract.

With such sensitivity to my feminine needs, what I’m hoping is that Tifosi Optics will break into the glove market. I go through more gloves than I can count because after just one or two wearings they’re too loose. I’m constantly tightening and retightening that Velcro strap until finally the Velcro hooks no longer meet the Velcro eyes. I’ve tried all the brands—FootJoy, Callaway, you name it, and they’re all built for man-hands. No one seems to make gloves narrow enough for my dainty mitts. Tifosi, can you help me out here?

The glasses also feature “object illumination,” which help the wearer spot the ball in flight, and “extreme contrast lenses” that help you make out subtle breaks on the putting green. Better green-reading ability? Now we’re talking. If I remember correctly, my favorite blogging caddy had some glasses like these. Perhaps if we apply pressure we can bring him out of his seeming retirement long enough to give us the skinny. What say you, Jam Boy? Did they work?

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