Five golf partners you should run from
CNN is running a nifty little feature called Ten Guys Women Should Run From. You know, possessive bullies who threaten to beat you up and/or cheat on you–"It may first appear charming, but jealous boyfriends will quickly get irritating!” Wow, really? Personally I think that someone who actually threatens your personal safety is pretty much wearing a neon sign around their neck that flashes the words “Date me at your peril. You have been warned.”
But ladies, when it comes to golf, the signs aren’t always so clear. So here are some indications that this is not the guy you want as your playing partner:
The downplayer: You hit a great drive down the middle and instead of giving you props, he says, “Yeah, it’s nice when your ball catches a hill like that and you get those extra yards of roll.”
The creative scorer: You notice after he’s made three consecutive bogeys that the scorecard has him down for bogey and two pars. When you report a 4, he writes 5, and when you call him on it, he says “Oh sorry, I must have misheard you.” For obvious reasons, you’ll never be able to beat a guy like this.
The objectifier: As you set up to the ball, he wolf-whistles, or offers advice like, “I think you need to stick your butt out a little further!” The one exception to this is when my husband does it. Then it’s kind of cute and endearing.
The forgetful golf cart driver: He tees off, then drives right past your tee box on the first hole. And the second hole. And the third hole…
The easily emasculated: You beat him fair and square and he jokes about how he should stick to playing against guys because you’ve unmanned him. Here’s a hint: he’s not actually joking.
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As for palying with the lady I'm currently dating - she also appreciates a 'wolf whistle' or two during the round....
1. The woman who complains about their not being enough tee boxes for the ladies.
2. The woman who insists on putting out, after taking 10 to get to the green.
3. The woman with the pull-cart who takes forever to get to her ball and hit. Was that six practice swings to hit it 20 yards?
4. The woman who can't stop making idle chit-chat with her friends, instead of playing the game.
5. The woman who feels compelled to compare herself, and her game, to a man.
Still joins us occasionally though. Lovely man.
What's your nickname for the guy who swishes away DIRECTLY behind you as you prepare to tee off?
Don't apologize for her. JM can defend her own position.
And Wendy, any guy OR girl who "swishes away" behind you as you prepare to tee off doesn't need a nickname. They are just referred to as "a-hole".
Thanks for your suggestion on the "swisher" - I may have to be careful which way I am facing when I mouth the word however.
The player who swears like a sailor on leave after every stinking shot, even the ones that are perfectly fine, but not "perfect."
I put my five up there to see if anyone was going to take the bait. Nobody did. I am glad nobody did.
You could have taken "woman" out of each of those 5 statements, and it would apply equally to men.
But why is it that Ms. Mario feels compelled to draw out the differences? I have read nothing from her blogs which would suggest anything but the premise that she is a sexist. Otherwise, what would be her motive?
Golf is a game. Compare your game with other players, not other sexes. Put your peg in the ground with other players and compare your game on score, from an equal set of circumstances. I am an accomplished player, and have played against some very talented players who are women. They teed up from the blues, and away we played. My respect comes not from the fact that they are good women golfers, it comes from the fact that they are talented golfers PERIOD.
And competition in this game is based on gross, not net. Want to compete? Practice and get better. If anyone wants to go tow-to-toe on this one, bring it on.
Women and men are equally responsible for slow play, poor play, boorish behavior, etc. So let's stop playing the victim. It's getting old. And the more you condone and perpetuate this mentality, the longer it will continue.
And as far as the tees go, the golf course isn't supposed to adjust to you. The challenge and beauty of the game is in your ability to adjust to the demands of the course.
Lastly, while you don't need to utilize the colorful language I suggested, you can politely make mention to the fact that they are standing in the wrong place. If we don't take the onus on ourselves to correct the behavior, we become accomplices to perpetuating poor etiquette.
I am a temperate person from a temperate climate. I also don't mind being ribbed in the least, which is just as well with my playing partners, and these blogs.
I agree with most of your points, 'tho could do w/o the lecturing tone. We do play gross scores being of similar standards, but I wouldn't care to play a round of golf with you simply because you sound so miserable - almost a victim. Cheer up, for heaven's sake, otherwise "the pedant" will also make the list.
Funny. You sound much more like a victim than I. I'd most likely not choose to play with you either. You sound like a boor. Good luck with you.
2under, you ask why I felt compelled to "draw out the differences," so I'll point out that this blog was a play on the original CNN article, a story on men that should be avoided by women. Hence my version, meant in jest--male golfers to be avoided by female golfers.
And yes, of course none of the traits are desirable in either male or female golfers--although it might be hard to find "easily emasculated" female golfers.
What's next, racism in jest?
a sharp riposte - just expected something a little wittier from someone articulate.
If 2under is so anti-sexism I wonder why he doesn't call out his friend Alex and He Who Boycotts Your Blogs
on their blatantly sexist comments (which I thoroughly enjoy)?
But then we both agree to play the ball as it lies (even if we differ on the other "rules which can be broken")!