Five golf partners you should run from

First time I played with a woman, I was 19 or 20 years old and had been playing for a couple of years. I had no idea who she was but I came to find out she was a single digit handicapper when she kicked my behind all day long. Didn't play with another woman until I joined a small country club 10 years later. The head pro there was a former winner on the LPGA Tour, Patty Myers. Tho her best playing days were behind her, she played regularly in the afternoon wheel against the men from the regular tees. I have more than a little respect for female golfers.

*sigh* We really AREN'T all jerks, Jennifer. Living in FL and having a number of daytimes free, I often am paired with a woman or several. I treat them just like I would male golfers I don't know well.

As for palying with the lady I'm currently dating - she also appreciates a 'wolf whistle' or two during the round....

...and here are the other 5:

1. The woman who complains about their not being enough tee boxes for the ladies.

2. The woman who insists on putting out, after taking 10 to get to the green.

3. The woman with the pull-cart who takes forever to get to her ball and hit. Was that six practice swings to hit it 20 yards?

4. The woman who can't stop making idle chit-chat with her friends, instead of playing the game.

5. The woman who feels compelled to compare herself, and her game, to a man.

Very funny Jen, especially as from your blogs it's obvious that you genuinely like men as people. I regularly play golf with my husband and good friend (male) as a threesome. An ex-army guy in his 50's (I'd guess) once asked to join us. After the 3 men had teed off (my tee was only a couple of yards ahead) he set off, but was whistled back by the others. He said "Oh sorry, I've never played with a woman before" and actually BLUSHED when I raised my eyebrows. Took him a few holes to recover his composure.
Still joins us occasionally though. Lovely man.

What's your nickname for the guy who swishes away DIRECTLY behind you as you prepare to tee off?

Wendy,

Don't apologize for her. JM can defend her own position.

And Wendy, any guy OR girl who "swishes away" behind you as you prepare to tee off doesn't need a nickname. They are just referred to as "a-hole".

How about the man who improves your lie when he thinks you're not looking, thinking he's doing you a favor? Yeah, right! See "The Corrigan," Metro Magazine, May 2006, Raleigh, NC.

2under - nope, can't see any apology, (or need for one) but surely you didn't find any spite or malice in the blog? BTW I posted before I read your comments. I can't go along with you on 1 or 5. We've already had a lengthy debate about ladies tees, but in the latter case how can I collect my $10 winnings if I can't compare scores with my (male) playing partners?

Thanks for your suggestion on the "swisher" - I may have to be careful which way I am facing when I mouth the word however.

Here's another one:

The player who swears like a sailor on leave after every stinking shot, even the ones that are perfectly fine, but not "perfect."

Wendy,

I put my five up there to see if anyone was going to take the bait. Nobody did. I am glad nobody did.

You could have taken "woman" out of each of those 5 statements, and it would apply equally to men.

But why is it that Ms. Mario feels compelled to draw out the differences? I have read nothing from her blogs which would suggest anything but the premise that she is a sexist. Otherwise, what would be her motive?

Golf is a game. Compare your game with other players, not other sexes. Put your peg in the ground with other players and compare your game on score, from an equal set of circumstances. I am an accomplished player, and have played against some very talented players who are women. They teed up from the blues, and away we played. My respect comes not from the fact that they are good women golfers, it comes from the fact that they are talented golfers PERIOD.

And competition in this game is based on gross, not net. Want to compete? Practice and get better. If anyone wants to go tow-to-toe on this one, bring it on.

Women and men are equally responsible for slow play, poor play, boorish behavior, etc. So let's stop playing the victim. It's getting old. And the more you condone and perpetuate this mentality, the longer it will continue.

And as far as the tees go, the golf course isn't supposed to adjust to you. The challenge and beauty of the game is in your ability to adjust to the demands of the course.

Lastly, while you don't need to utilize the colorful language I suggested, you can politely make mention to the fact that they are standing in the wrong place. If we don't take the onus on ourselves to correct the behavior, we become accomplices to perpetuating poor etiquette.

2under

I am a temperate person from a temperate climate. I also don't mind being ribbed in the least, which is just as well with my playing partners, and these blogs.

I agree with most of your points, 'tho could do w/o the lecturing tone. We do play gross scores being of similar standards, but I wouldn't care to play a round of golf with you simply because you sound so miserable - almost a victim. Cheer up, for heaven's sake, otherwise "the pedant" will also make the list.

Wendy,

Funny. You sound much more like a victim than I. I'd most likely not choose to play with you either. You sound like a boor. Good luck with you.

Wendy, it's a good thing you don't mind being ribbed, because around here it's par for the course (so to speak).

2under, you ask why I felt compelled to "draw out the differences," so I'll point out that this blog was a play on the original CNN article, a story on men that should be avoided by women. Hence my version, meant in jest--male golfers to be avoided by female golfers.

And yes, of course none of the traits are desirable in either male or female golfers--although it might be hard to find "easily emasculated" female golfers.

Helluva way to make a joke - sexism.

What's next, racism in jest?

Jen - my comments to 2under merited
a sharp riposte - just expected something a little wittier from someone articulate.

If 2under is so anti-sexism I wonder why he doesn't call out his friend Alex and He Who Boycotts Your Blogs
on their blatantly sexist comments (which I thoroughly enjoy)?

But then we both agree to play the ball as it lies (even if we differ on the other "rules which can be broken")!

Wow, who dropped 2under's ice cream cone? Lotta heat in those comments.

We had just hit our drives on the 396 yard par four when a young lady came up and asked if she could play through. We said certainly and watched as she hit her drive 40 yards past ours. One of my friends exclaimed, "whoa, who the hell was that?" We discovered later that it was Kathy Whitworth out for a casual round. Oh yes, she birded the hole.