Jun 25

My second ball is a scratch golfer

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You’ve heard people make the claim before, I’m sure. After a bad shot, they hit another one “just for practice,” and rather than be happy with the results of their second, perfect shot that lands two feet from the pin, they just get bitter.

I found myself alone on the golf course yesterday, with not a soul in front or behind me. With time on my hands and an extra ball in my pocket, I decided this was an ideal opportunity to test the theory for myself.

Sure, it’s one thing to follow up one shot with another. But if you were to play your second ball all the way through, would it really be a scratch golfer?

So I hit two off the tee on a longish par 4. The first went short and right. The second, long and straight. I walked up to the first ball?we’ll call her “Golfer 1″?and proceeded to hit a middling shot short of the green. Golfer 2, meanwhile, hit a lovely arc that landed about ten feet short of the pin.

Golfer 1 took three more shots to get down, leaving her with a bogey, a standard score for Golfer 1 these days. Golfer 2 barely missed her birdie putt, then tapped in for par.

The next hole followed much the same pattern. And the next. What do you know, my second ball really is a scratch golfer!

But Golfer 2 never finished her round. Around the 12th hole, she had an etiquette lapse and walked in 1’s line. Golfer 1 was tired of 2’s superior attitude, so she reciprocated by coughing in 2’s backswing.

Things could have turned ugly, so I finally ditched 2 in the nearest lake. On top of everything else, she was slowing me down big time. She might be a better golfer, but she’s no fun as a partner.

« Here we go again... Michelle Wie, at the top of the leaderboard, gets DQ'd from State Farm ClassicThis week's Sybase Classic: a rubber match for Lorena Ochoa and Annika Sorenstam? »

9 comments

  1. § Kiel Christianson Email said on : 06/25/08 @ 22:17
    Mine is shaped like a starfruit.

    Wait, are we talking about the same thing?
  2. § Jennifer Mario® Email said on : 06/25/08 @ 22:53
    [snicker]
  3. § Dave M Email said on : 06/26/08 @ 13:33
    Bubba can sure play golf!!
  4. § BV said on : 06/26/08 @ 13:34
    Good thing you ditched ball2 Jenn, it was starting to sound like an episode of "Big Break"! ;)

    Funny (and interesting) post...
  5. § Jennifer Mario® Email said on : 06/26/08 @ 17:08
    Speaking of Big Break, BV, I'd ditch Lori in a lake too if I could. She's the biggest be-otch the show has ever seen, and that's saying something.
  6. § Nicke Email said on : 06/27/08 @ 03:00
    It's funny how we are so critical of our golfing partners but never of ourselves. Ha ha. Poor Golfer 2.
  7. § Ron Mon® Email said on : 06/28/08 @ 14:03
    Is this the ego and the id talking? Not sure why Kiel has a starfruit between his legs but, hey, it's the midwest. That relaxed attitude of golfer 2 doesn't work for golfer 1, ever. Golfer 1 needs to be confident and assured to make its shots look like those of golfer 2. Try hitting ball 1 as Lorena or Annika or Kim Park Oh, then hit ball 2 as Fred, Laura D., or some other laid-back smoker.
  8. § BV said on : 07/14/08 @ 12:09
    "Biggest" in SO many ways, Jenn! ;)

    Hard to believe the resident homophobes missed an opportunity to chastise Monny for his interest in Kyle's legs...I hope it doesn't mean they are ignoring Jenn's blog!! *grin*
  9. § Donald Ritter said on : 08/29/08 @ 05:36
    What's all this first ball, second ball talk? I just have a left ball and right ball.

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