2005 Predictions

I’ve caught a few glimpses of 2005 peeking out of the mist swirling inside my crustal Titleist. And since it is my job to share such knowledge with you all, here we go:

With Tiger’s schwing in full form (Elin likes to dish when she’s had a few egg nogs, so trust me on this), everyone’s watching his swing. It looks good so far, and should get better. One problem: Vijay’s swing is still as good as ever. Look for these two to fight it out more than once on a Sunday. And look for Vijay to win the big ones.

John Daly will contend at the British Open, but will fall short. Actually, he’ll fall into Hell Bunker, marking the 7th descent by the big guy into hell.

Steroid use will sully the sterling reputation of the LDA Tour.

Paula Creamer will win an LPGA event. And her adorable belly peeking out from under her shirt on her follow-through will have a significant impact on male viewership of women’s tournaments.

Phil Mickelson will win a second Master’s. And he won’t try to jump this time. He might just try doing The Worm, though. Amy Mickelson will then leave him.

Belly putters will be ruled non-conforming when someone discovers how amazingly accurate they are when they are actually surgically implanted into your belly.

Michelle Wie with experience a growth spurt and need to change her swing to fit her 7-foot frame.

Johnny Miller will get socked in the nose by Darren Clarke. Oh, the joy!

Major winners: Master’s – Mickelson; US Open – Singh; British Open – Woods; PGA – Singh. That’s right, all big names. No darkhorses this year.

I will sink my first hole-in-one at Doonbeg.

My daughter will sell the most Girl Scout cookies in her troop. (E-mail me if you want to order.)