Televised golf has gotten about as bad as it can get. In fact, it’s gotten downright obscene. And I’m not talking about David Toms’ middle finger.
Before elaborating, let me say that I am pretty much the furthest thing from a prude you can find. In fact, I think Paris Hilton’s Hardee’s commercial is just fine.
But what is really, truly offensive is the BARRAGE of ads for erectile dysfunction meds that bombard us golf viewers at every commercial break. I mean come on. We golfers were just beginning to shake the stereotype of being fashion-challenged, only to be thought of now as limp and lifeless. And I ain’t talking about our hair.
Why are these commercials so offensive? Let me see…:
First, have you ever looked at the women on these commercials? They are complete babes. If the guy can’t get going on his own just looking at these hotties, he should stay on the course.
Second, have you looked at the guys? The oldest is 50, tops, and looks to be in impeccable shape. These are NOT the guys who typically require Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.
Third, by portraying the target audience of these ads as young and vibrant, the advertisers are insinuating into the minds of 40- and 50-somethings that they might in fact need such drugs. “Hmmm…,” we think, “I’m not quite 21 anymore. Maybe I DO need a helping hand, when a helping hand seems to take longer than it used to…”
Fourth, the damn warning: “Erections lasting more than four hours, require immediate medical attention.” Four hours!?!? What’s a doctor going to do, unless he sends over a nurse with a very short skirt and fishnet stockings? If I’m going for four hours, I’m calling an agent, not a doctor, and getting into a very different business.
Fifth, I was dead serious about the Paris Hilton thing earlier: I find these ED ads far more offensive. If my six-year-old asks me why Hilton is gyrating and eating a burger, all I need to say is this: “Companies want people to remember their names. One way to do that is to get people to remember their ads. People like to look at pretty women (and men), and at least some people think Hilton is pretty (I am not among them). So they will remember this ad because they will remember her. Then, maybe, they’ll want to buy a burger.”
But when my daughter asks what a Levitra ad is about, I have to say something like this: “Well, when a man gets older, the blood flow to his penis sometimes gets restricted, which makes it more difficult to achieve and maintain….”
See what I mean? Honestly, which is more uncomfortable?
So spare me the indignities flung at Hilton and Hardee’s. Until the geriatric softcore of the ED ads is removed from middle-of-the-day golf broadcasts, the religious right and other objectors don’t have a third leg to stand on.
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Jason Scott Deegan:
The Accidental Golfer:
Katharine Dyson:
Kiel Christianson:
Mr. Prude asks, essentially, "Why the disclaimer?" It's not a justification of an opinion; it's a rhetorical device. Specifically, such a statement is a pre-emptive strike against those who might disagree with your thesis not because of the content of that thesis, but because they disagree with a larger world-view that the thesis might imply (whether that implication is intentional, or accurate, or not).
Why does it matter that I'm not a prude? It matters because prudes might well be offended by bare ankles. And if so, would naturally be offended by ED ads. So who cares what prudes think? They're offended by everything. That's neither noteworthy nor original. It's expected.
On the other hand, if someone who is not a prude is offended by something, well then, whatever the offensive material is must be pretty bad, or at least worthy of some closer scrutiny.
Bottom line, though: If Jennifer Mario, Mr. Prude, and I all get offended by these horrible ads, I'm guessing more folks do too, and the offense cuts across all sorts of demographics. The drug companies, or at least the PGA Tour, might want to pull their muzzles out of the drug company trough and take note if they want to keep viewers around.
Does anyone realize what the demographics are for golf telecasts? Predominantly male, I believe. And who could blame a guy for wanting to enhance his "performance" level? If they invented a "longer & straighter tee shots" pill, that would probably sell very well also ... even to women.
Agreed! I'm always looking for something to help me get it straighter, and into the hole.