Golf Digest subscription likely to outlive subscriber
Because the Funai Classic is about as classic as a Chrysler K-Car, and even less newsworthy, I feel the need to get something off my chest:
I have grown to despise Golf Digest.
Now don’t get me wrong: The grand old man of golf publishing still makes for pleasant airplane reading, especially if you’re trying to catch some Zs. And the photos and updated layout make it easier to skim through before tossing it in the wastebasket.
What is bothering me recently is the slew of subscription notices I’m receiving. Several months ago, my wife renewed my subscription…twice. Unbeknownst to her, I had renewed it myself too, for an extra three years to save money.
So now I have at least five years of payments to my credit, and STILL I receive weekly notices of my “Last chance to renew without interruption in delivery.”
Is this some sort of scam to wring as much money as possible out of Golf Digest’s aged subscriber base before they die? I mean, if you convince some dottering old duffer that he needs to renew his subscription every couple of weeks or so, he’ll be receiving new issues long after he’s dead. Your circulation numbers stay strong while his are, well, stopped completely.
Now, you may be asking why I renewed my subscription in the first place if I find the magazine so dull. Frankly, there’s nothing like GD for reading material in the guest bathroom. And you can never get too much in-depth coverage of the Funai Classic.
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I believe a law was passed sometime in the mid-90s that insists that every magazine must have at least 38 loose ads in it to get you to subscribe to the magazine.
Just watch, whoever wins the World Series this year will get a ticker-tape parade, but instead of using confetti, people will just hold magazines upside down and shake them.
No use pretending--that's why we keep it in the bathroom.