Over the past year, I’ve lost 25 pounds (50, if you add in the combined weight of all the golf balls I’ve hit astray). When I announced to my wife that I might just go out to buy some new golf clothes, she regarded me skeptically and asked, “Don’t you have enough khaki and black stuff already?”

Apparently, she’s noticed my predilection for earth-tones, both on and off the course.

It’s a fair cop, I admit.

But what’s a 40-year-old guy to do? I’m now nearly as svelte as I was in college, but frankly, I can’t pull off (or more accurately, pull on) the Euro-chic, form-fitting garb favored by the flat-bellies on Tour these days. Nor am I tough enough in spirit to clad myself in the pinks or lavenders or teals that are lately so popular.

Fortunately, there are companies like Firethorn Golf out there, that have taken it upon themselves to shatter the oxymoron that was once golf fashion. Firethorn just announced sponsorship of Mark Hensby and John Rollins, two of the biggest-hitting guys on Tour.

Yeah, by golly. Those are the guys I want to dress like, not those wispy little Continental types. (OK, I know Hensby is a bit wispy at 5’8”, but he’s from Australia, where people wrestle crocs, for Steve Irwin’s sake! Do you know how petite Paul Hogan was? People bought him as Crocodile Dundee.)

Firethorn’s fashions are sleek, but not under-sized, and they offer the sorts of bold colors my wife obviously wants to see me wear more of, like Dazzling Blue, Jockey Red and Rattan. Honestly, I don’t know what Rattan is, but it sounds cooler than plain old tan.

And frankly, those bright colors might just save my life during hunting season as I’m trudging through the underbrush looking for my wayward drives.

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