Placid-O is golf's next great game-improvement device

Dr. Anson Christi, two-time Fulbright fellow, former founding faculty member at the world-famous University of Aizu in Japan, and widely-published psychological researcher, has discovered a revolutionary breakthrough in harnessing golf’s ‘mental game.’

“Emanating from every human brain is a weak electrical field,” explains Christi. “EEGs show that some of these impulses are positive, and some are negative. If we amplify the positive and dampen the negative, performance of any task can be enhanced – especially those tasks that require the orchestration of complex mental and physiological processes. Golf is a perfect example.”

Over the past several years, Dr. Christi has developed the Placid-O, a micro-fiber electric emanation kinetistatic (EEKS) modulator, which fits inside all standard ball caps and sun hats. This device serves to intercede between the user and his or her own brain-waves, blocking the negative waves and amplifying the positive waves.

The results are literally unbelievable.

“I’ve lowered my handicap by 15 points since I began wearing the Placid-O,” gushes G. U. Libble of Chicago, Ill., who went from a 10-handicap to an astounding minus-5. “I might give the Nationwide Tour a run next year.”

And more than one touring pro has discovered the benefits of positive electrical energy and what is quickly becoming known in insider circles as “The Placid-O Effect.”

Because the Placid-O is so new, and has not yet been marketed to the public, no endorsement deals have yet to be signed, although according to Dr. Christi, “Several prominent players are willing to put their name on anything in exchange for a golfbag full of Franklins.”

Another glitch is how to fit the circular fiber around the noggins of players who do not wear hats. “We might not even go that route,” shrugs Dr. Christi. “I mean, golfers who don’t protect their heads and faces from the sun are probably beyond redemption anyway.”

MSRP for the Placid-O has yet to be determined, but Dr. Christi estimates that the price will be in the low three figures. “Payable in three, four, or five easy payments, depending on your handicap,” says Dr. Christi.

When asked to comment on how his invention compares to other devices purported to enhance golfers’ electrical auras, cellular function, and overall performance, such as the Q-Link, Dr. Christi is utterly dismissive.

“Have you ever heard of the Placibo Effect?” he scoffs incredulously. “Well, let me tell you, it’s very real, and hucksters are waiting at every 19th hole to try to sell you some piece of incomprehensible, unproven and untestable crap. Trust me, I know.”