First, it was the fashion police at Southwest Airlines threatening to kick passengers off flights because a flight attendant didn’t like their skirts or shirts.

Now it’s Jamie Gent, athletic director at Haslett High School in Michigan. According to the Lansing State Journal, Gent confiscated the new Girls’ Golf Team’s matching spirit shirts printed with the slogan “Grip It and Rip It.”

Is Gent opposed to John Daly-related gear? (That slogan is his motto, after all.)

No. According to Gent, the phrase could be “taken two ways.” One way, apparently, carries a “sexual connotation.”

Oh fer cripes sake.

Now the politically correct thought police are out there telling kids what’s wrong and right based on the connotations bred in the fetid imaginations of twisted old folks. Just because Gent thinks something might be vaguely dirty, it’s banned.

Does the phrase only connote something sexual when emblazoned on teenaged girls, or does Gent think impure thoughts when Big John wears it, too?

But fine. The almighty athletic director is in charge. So be it. May I suggest banning golf altogether, then, as the sport is rife with double entendres, which, apparently, signal the downfall of Western Civilization. Here’s a partial list:

It’s in the hole.
Knock it stiff.
Putting from the fringe
A smooth stroke
Ball washer
Big stick
Hooker
Sneaking a putt in the back door
Knickers
Shaft
Swing
My caddy carries my bag and washes my balls.
Short knocker
Two-stroke penalty
Hole in one
Go for it.
Keep it in the short grass.
Headcover
Niblick
Natalie Gulbis

You get the idea. Geez, even Gent’s “taken two ways” could be taken two ways.

I’m surprised the school lets the team even touch those phallic clubs, not to mention the balls.

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