If I had a nickel for every time I heard old people grumbling about “Kids these days,” I’d have almost as many nickels as I would if I got one every time I heard some old fart prattle on about how much a nickel used to buy. Seriously, if you listen to curmudgeonly coots enough (or watch Faux News), you get convinced that the world today is being carried to hell in a handbasket by Lucifer himself. While it is true that some pessimism might be warranted, especially in the cases of reckless, spoiled brats like Tripp Isenhour, I would much prefer ... full post »

It was somewhere early in the afternoon of what felt like the longest Masters Sunday in history when I noticed and blogged about the dominance of Nike staff players on the leaderboard. Now, during the Masters post-mortem (which doesn’t actually seem as long as that interminable final round), the numbers are in. Who won The Masters? Stewart Cink? Nope. Tiger (and his left knee)? Nope. Trevor Immelman? Nope. (Got you there, didn’t I?) The truth is that the above trio’s trifecta – a combined 1, 2, and T-3 finish – brought home the victory for Nike. Numbers just released by the sponsorship evaluation company ... full post »

So Tiger had knee surgery scheduled even before the Masters, eh? This news makes me think of Part 20 in my real-time blogging on the final roun, where I observed that “something’s not right” with the Chosen One. His body language was just all wrong during that whole tournament, and his distance control with his wedges was not up to snuff, either. Now that part makes sense: When you’re knee is tweaky, you over compensate with your upper body, making for inconsistent results. full post »

That’s quite the divot that Immelman found on the 72nd hole! Once again, something happened that almost made this Masters Sunday exciting. Not really, though. Oh, good. There’ll be another baby to kiss on the green again this year. Immelman is the South African Zach Johnson. Well, this is five hours I’ll never get back… At least I’ve got my traditional post-Masters dinner to look forward to: Ham steak marinated in ginger, dry mustard and Coke with green beans and almonds sautened in garlic butter, and crayfish macaroni and cheese. Mmm-mmm. (Note to Immelman: I’m available for menu-planning for next year’s ... full post »

This is the shot–the approach on 17–that will decide how difficult 18 will be for Immelman… And another “Oops.” Bogey here, or worse, and Tiger is right back in it….but unless he completely chokes a short putt, he’ll save par. Immelman is +3 today, and still leading. I would just like to remind everyone that I projected that the winner this year would jump out to an early lead and then have to hang on to win, because no one would be able to mount a big comeback on Sunday due to the weather. A-hem. Wanna hear how the 2008 Presidential election is ... full post »

Ooops…Immelman is wet on 16. Could we be witnessing the start of the biggest meltdown since Jean Van de Velde at Carnoustie? Maybe I won’t doze off quite yet after all. full post »

Is Treveor Immelman bad for golf? His complete domination from start to finish of the 2008 Masters has proven to be one of the most forgetable, utterly dull Masters in recent memory (unless, of course, you are Immelman or one of his family or friends). I think the esteemed members of Augusta National should consider Trevor-proofing the course in anticipation of 2009. Immeltimidation is simply unfair to the rest of the field. In fact, I think Trev will win the Grand Slam this year. Maybe go undefeated the rest of the season. full post »

Too little, too late for Tiger. That tee shot on 16 was typical Tiger; now if he has a typical Tiger 2008 Masters putt, he’ll leave it 2 inches outside to the right. … Yep! That’s exactly what he did. Immeltimidation, I tell you! Sorry, I guess I’m still bitter that Miguel Angel Jimenez shot the low round of the day today (-4), and I didn’t have him activated on my fantasy golf team. full post »

Why is it that everyone melts when Trevor Immelman has the lead at a major? Where are all the challengers? Some guy called Tiger just jacked two easy short putts that would have brought him into contention. And Snedeker just took a dip. Looks like the Immeltimidation Factor is alive and well. full post »

Never mind. Tiger missed that putt on 13. Something’s not right. Is Elin about to give birth again or something? I think he needs to switch to a long putter. Seriously, I think 13 was his tourney. He’ll come in second, looking to surpass Nicklaus’s record of 19 second-place major finishes. full post »

Peter Kostis on 13: “This is a delicate shot.” I’m going to say that it’s also Tiger’s tourney. That ball goes in on 13, after driving into the pine straw, and he wins. Period. Now with a certain birdie, and 2nd place, well, there is hope. Although Immelman just drained a gutsy putt from the fringe on 11, so he’s bowed but not broken. full post »

Whoa. Did anyone else just see Steve Flesch’s ball plummet into Rae’s Creek? I swear it looked like it hit a branch–a non-existent branch–that knocked it down. The wind appeared to have literally swatted that ball down, changing its direction in a split-second. full post »

Well, well, well. So Tiger decided to hit one big shot, a long birdie putt. It’s just a birdie, and he’s still 5 strokes back, but already the announcers are jumping onto the “Tiger’s Stalking” theme. He’s going to have to get closer that that to make an impact, though. And it won’t all be his doing if he does actually get into contention. Someone else will need to choke. full post »

Computer graphics can be pretty cool, but the graphic hole renderings don;t do anything for me. Looks like a scene from Golden Tee or some golf simulator. What I do like is the graphic that traces a line along the ball flight of players’ drives. That’s pretty cool. Now they need to follow their clubheads with a similar line, to illustrate how swing path dictates ball flight. I think viewers would really benefit from that sort of a “teachable moment.” Another cool graphic would be cartoon-like bubbles coming up from Tiger’s mouth as he curses over and over again. Now THAT would ... full post »

OK–I’m going to say this right now: Someone needs to step up and deliver a stellar back nine, or I might not even watch this collective stumblefunk to the end. Perhaps the biggest myth in golf is that contenders wilt under the steely gaze of El Tigre. No they don’t. They wilt under major pressure, and Tiger just happens to be at or near the top at so many that it SEEMS like guys are giving up to Tiger. Based on today’s play, I’d say the “Tiger Effect” is an illusory corellation. full post »

Little-known Tiger factoid: Tiger’s been using the same Ping grip on his putter (or at least the same model of Ping grip) since high school. Because he’s not associated with Ping, though, he blacks out the PING on the grip with a Sharpie. The putter itself is a Scotty Cameron. The way he’s putting this week, though, maybe he should look around for a new one… full post »

Tiger and Cink both missed those birdie putts. This doesn’t portent well for either, especially Tiger. The thing about Tiger is, he expects so much of himself, that when he does not live up to those expectations, he gets down on himself. It’s as if he needs hi dad behind the ropes to look him in the eye and tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself and just play. “Quit whining, Sam.” full post »

Once again, I’m wrong. Immelman is hanging on and playing well (and he’s only got one ‘n’ in his name). Snedeker is going to be tough, but he’s been too inconsistent today. Sweet Smokin’ Moses! No one in the history of the world has ever swung as hard at a golf ball as Tiger and has been able to have such control over his body and the ball. All of you out there, if you don’t get a chance to shake Plamer’s hand, at least make an effort to watch Tiger swing a golf club in person. It is absolutely awesome. ... full post »

The partnership of Exxon-Mobile and Phil & Amy Mickelson is admirable because, as the commercial says, science and math are critical to our youths and to our nation and world. My question is this, however: Why is the NAtional Science Foundation’s budget being cut over and over again by this administraiton and this Congress? A golfer’s philanthropic foundation isn’t going to replace the U.S. government’s investment in basic scientific research. And Exxon-Mobile should be using some of that money to clean up the mess from the Exxon Valdez spill, as they promised they would do a decade ago (and still haven’t done). ... full post »

My bad! FLesch plays Cleveland (mainly). He switched from Titleist last year, and his game has continued to return to him after the switch. So, two times players have grounded their putter behind the ball, and the ball has moved, costing them each a stroke. Here’s a tip, young ‘uns: Don’t ground your putter! Jack Nicklaus never grounded his putter for this very reason; he hovered it ever so slightly behind the ball on all greens, including Augusta’s. full post »

It’s quite remarkable the extent to which Nike staff players have come to dominate Tour leaderboards. Tiger, naturally, but also Stewart Cink, Trevor Immelman, and Paul Casey. Tbe only interruption in this Swoosh parade in the last few minutes was Brandt Snedeker, who plays Bridgestone equipment. In Japan, Bridgestone is hude; here, however, well below the mainstream radar screen. Steve Flesch plays Titleist, which is the only “traditional” equipment company represented in the first page of the leaderboard, I believe. The Gay Brewer memorial makes one reflect on what an affable man he was. Also on how no one names their kid ... full post »

“real-time blogginf?” Crap. Cink falls back one. It’s official: I’m the kiss of death. Let’s try this: Tiger will shoot 96 and dissolve into tears on 18th green, where he vows to quit golf and take up bowling. Hey, if I’m going to be wrong anyway… Oh sure, Jimenez is posting low round of the day. Arnold Palmer, Honorary Starter. For those golf fans out there, I’d urge you to try to shake Mr. Palmer’s hand at some point. Those hands are so wide, and so solid, it’s like shaking a 4x4 plank. full post »

One of my brothers-in-law has an amusing mind-trick that he uses when things are going badly on the course. He imagines that guys like us–average golfers–are the best players in the world. In other words, the shots we hit are the best that can be executed. Just imagine if that were the case. If Steve Flesch’s delicate flip over the bunker to a couple of feet from the pin were instead a chunk into the bunker, and the announcers were saying that such a shot was perfectly understandable, and that the chances of getting the ball anywhere on the putting surface ... full post »

Ahh…Masters sponsors… Exxon-Mobile: “How’s $4 per gallon sound to you? Sounds GREAT to us!” AT&T: “We’re listening (and we’re sharing what we hear with the government).” What happened to Cadillac, BTW? Losing too much money not selling gas-guzzling Escalades? They can thank Exxon-Mobile (and a bungled Mideast policy…). Oh well, back to the golf. full post »

I can tell Tiger is a parent – his legendary fuse is even shorter than before. Kids’ll do that to you. Oh, wow. Snedeker drilled that long putt – he’s for real. And Cink got robbed on the par-3. He’s for real, too. Immelmann, I think, is going to fade. Snedeker should be in it, along with Cink. Tiger, on the other hand, apparently baought Philly-Mick’s putting video. Oy gewalt. full post »

Did I just hear that Migel Angel Jimenez, my darkhorse pick carded an eagle today. Figures. I had him on my fantasy team the first two rounds, and was rewarded with very few points. I knew he had a low round in him, but it won’t help me today. Let’s hope Retief Goosen, my other active B player (with Cink) goes low… It occurs to me that I could listen to Peter Oosterhuis’s voice all day. I wish he were my neighbor. It’d be like Tim Allen pestering Wilson on “Home Improvement.” Maybe he could tell me how I could convince ... full post »

OK, so my great blogging scheme was just thwarted by my wife, who informed me that I have children and responsibilities. Notice that Elin isn’t standing behind the 3rd green telling Tiger not to forget that he’s got a daughter and needs to change the drawer pulls in the kitchen and fold the laundry. I KNEW I should have married a Swedish bikini model… full post »

Phil Mickelson really screwed my fanatasy golf team over yesterday. Now, I should know not to switch away from Tiger on moving day at a major, but Phil had actually looked very strong Friday. Switchign to Phil yesterday cost me 14 points. As soon as I saw Phil’s meaty shoulders slouch yesterday after his ball hit the 8th flagstick (I think it was 8), I knew I was sunk, too. Stewart Cink is on my team too, though, and he’s already -2 for the day. He’d be an interesting dark horse winner, actually, as one of the most consistent Tour players in ... full post »

Several years ago, before the advent of the blogs on these pages, I had some good fun writing about Phil Mickelson’s first major win. Today, I’ll do my best to send along observations as close to real time as possible, typos be damned. Fist thought: Whoever came up with that corny ‘Circle of Life at Augusta” theme should be fired. Geez, I was waiting for Palmer, Player, and Nicklaus to burst into the chorus of “Hakuna Matata.” Makes me want to see a childless orphan win the thing. Do we have any of those in the field? full post »

My fellow bloggers have picked everyone from Brandt Snedeker to K.J. Choi to Justin Rose at this year’s Masters. My own darkhorse pick, Miguel Angel Jimenez, isn’t looking stellar after a first round 77, but I still have one hope: crappy weather. If the weekend turns as bad as predicted, with rain beginning this afternoon and storms tomorrow, followed by a raw, windy Sunday, anyone who makes the cut will have a shot. Even Jimenez, as long as he puts up a low number today. Speaking of today, if the rain does move in late, the afternoon tee times, including Tiger Woods, ... full post »

A local down in Augusta told me last week that they had been icing down the azaleas to keep them from blooming too soon. Ahh…the profound embarrassment of premature foliation. It’s been a hot spring in the land of Coke and peaches, and a volatile one. Remember the tornado in Atlanta? Well, the volatile weather is going to make the 2008 Masters play out very strangely this year. Or at least, that’s what my crystal ball is telling me. Thursday and Friday are forecast to be hot, with calm conditions on Thursday and a bit more wind on Friday. Saturday, all hell ... full post »

Is it just me, or are golfers’ balls turning different colors? OK, that didn’t come out quite right. Let me explain. Remember back in the 1970s, when tennis balls turned from white to yellow, and golf balls began to follow suit? (It may have been prior to the 70s, but this is the earliest of my recollections. Old people, feel free to correct me.) Whereas yellow tennis balls became the norm (now “optic yellow"), however, yellow golf balls were about as popular as yellow toe nails. (Ewww…) Today, thanks in part perhaps to endorsement contracts with high-profile LPGA players like Paula Creamer, and splashy ... full post »

Slow play is often cited as one of the reasons golf has declined in popularity in recent years. Courses are getting longer and longer in reaction to more powerful club technology, but average players aren’t hitting the ball that much farther. And they certainly aren’t hitting it any straighter. And chipping and putting is still where most players lose strokes, and spend most of their time. The American Society of Golf Course Architects (ASGCA) has come out with some design recommendations for perking up the pace of play. First of all, ASGA president Steve Forrest concedes, “Common sense tells us that shorter, ... full post »