I have a drawer-full of lapel pins. Office of Homeland Security. Special Olympics. Some town in China known for panda bears.

It is not completely clear how I got all these pins, but I do remember that my father has always been under the impression that I collect them. So these things have been accumulating since I was about eight years old. The problem is that I don’t wear any more clothes with lapels now than I did when I was eight. So I never know what to do with all these tiny pieces of man-jewelry.

A few months ago, when my wife threatened to toss out a pile of pins that had formed on top of my dresser, it occurred to me that I could put them to good use on the golf course as ball-markers.

I used a wire-cutter and a small grinder to snip off the pin and smooth down the nub, and now I’ve got dozens of colorful, unique ball-markers.

Martha Stewart would be proud.

Tune in next week when I describe how to make your own golf balls by wrapping pickled sheep’s testicles with bubblegum and rubber bands.

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