Equipment companies rejoice in beating an old man
Tom Watson is 17 years older than I, but time’s winged chariot is carrying me unswervingly in that direction, and I – along with lots of other aging golfers – were cheering our enlarged prostates out for the old guy.
After Watson’s loss to Stewart Cink (a true gentleman and class act in his own right), I went on a weeklong Glenfiddich and Metamucil sympathy bender, from which I am only now recovering.
Upon my unsteady return to business, I have discovered my e-mail inbox littered with press releases from equipment companies boasting shamelessly of the role that their products played in beating an old man into Turnberry’s fescued turf.
Even the maker of Cink’s Epoch tee, Evolve Golf is getting in on the act. From the press release:
“Evolve Golf – maker of the No. 1 performance golf tee on Tour – confirms the winner of the 138th Open Championship relied on its patented Epoch tee. In a dramatic four-hole playoff victory, the winner’s steady performance off the tee proved to be the difference. The 36-year old American set up aggressive approach shots that lead to a six stroke victory.”
Evolve should have added: “Over a man who could have been the winner’s father.”
Of course, Nike Golf is the worst of all, with their staff of whipper-snappers like Tiger Woods, Lucas Glover, Paul Casey and Bo Van Pelt (who won the U.S. Bank Championship the same week).
Does it make you feel big, Nike, to beat an old geezer? To crush a dottering grandfather under your swooshed heel? Does that make you feel tough?
Whatever happened to respect for one’s elders? Whatever happened to age before beauty? Whatever happened to hickory-shafted mashies? (And what did I do with my reading glasses?)
Just when Old Tom Watson was trying to convince so many of us that maybe, just maybe, the best was yet to come, Cink goes out and demolishes our withering dreams of future glory.
Time marches on, I suppose. But it was still a shame to see it parade by without pausing one final step for an old-timer’s sake.
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