This just in: The European Solheim Cup Team has just announced that they will not acknowledge the U.S. victory until a key player—unbeaten rookie from Hawai’i Michelle Wie—can produce a long-form birth certificate.

Laura Davies was the first Euro to raise the issue. “Is Hawai’i even in the U.S.?” she asked. “I’ve been watching FOX News a bit—which we all know is fair and balanced—and they seem to believe that it is not.”

Suzann Pettersen, a native of Norway, also raised the issue, when she noted, “In Norway, we used to etch birth records into the shells of hollowed eggs. Can Michelle Wie, if that is her real name, produce even an eggshell? Or a plate of lutefisk? God, I could use a nice plate of lutefisk right about now.”

At this time, there is no response from the U.S. Team other than clearly audible derisive laughter and lots of terrorist-like knuckle-bumping. Stay tuned for further developments…

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