Stocking stuffer for boozy duffers: The Golfalyzer
Sometimes my golf game has gone to hell, and I need a beer to mourn.
Sometimes I’m playing lights out, and I need a beer to celebrate.
Sometimes the group in front is holding us up, and I need a beer to pass the time.
Sometimes I’m playing after work, and it’s cocktail hour.
Sometimes I’m playing at 6 in the morning, and it’s time for a bloody Mary.
Sometimes…well, you get the picture.
One of the things I love about the sport of golf is that it does not disallow me from partaking in a vice or two while playing.
But, as they say, moderation is a virtue, so it’s good to know when you’ve had enough of a good thing. (This is in fact why I choose not to birdie every hole.)
How do you know when enough is enough? You don’t want to be that guy who drives your cart into the pond on the 16th hole, do you?
Now there’s a breathalyzer you can take to the golf course with you: The Golfalyzer is designed specifically for golfers.
According to the company, The Golfalyzer helps golfers “find and stay ‘in the zone’.”
When I received my own Golfalyzer ($20), I immediately put it in my bag and took it to the course. It is easy to use, and registers quickly. The only problem is, as the directions stress, you cannot have anything to eat, drink, or smoke for 20 minutes prior to using it, as all of these contaminants will alter the reading.
I cheated and blew right after few drinks, and the reading came up twice the legal limit. So apparently that 5-minute rule is important. When I followed instructions, it seemed pretty accurate.
So if you want to give the gift of temperance this holiday season, or need the perfect gag gift, The Golfalyzer might just be the ticket (to help avoid tickets). Or maybe you just want to send your boozy buddy a message…
Hey, wait a minute! Very funny, guys.
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