Ben Crane creeps to US Bank Championship win; vows to play faster - some day

The same Ben Crane who caused all the ruckus in June at the Booz Allen Classic when his slow pace ticked off playing partner Rory Sabbatini turned that glacial pace to his advantage Sunday, winning the US Bank Championship in Milwaukee.

After the win, Crane addressed his notorious, snail-like pace, telling reporters, “I think it’s a process and I think over the next few months I’ll get better.” A few MONTHS!? Just to not play so slow that everyone on tour groans when they’re paired with you and wants to skull you with a wedge by the end of the round!? Give me a break.

Runner-up Scott Verplank told the AP: “It’s a good thing he’s a great guy because if he wasn’t he would probably have a lot of trouble with all the players.” Given that golfers are genetically programmed to never say anything critical about anything, this is a hell of a statement. Translation: “Did you ever see ‘Full Metal Jacket?’ If Crane gets any slower, me and the boys are going to tie him down, put bars of soap in pillow cases, and beat the snot out of him!!!”

Something tells me that sort of thing would cause less outrage among golf fans than Sabbatini’s putting out of turn at the the Booz Allen.

– Mark